I think theres something wrong with me. im a junior in hs and ive never been in a relationship let alone kissed anyone romantically. the thing that scares me most is i dont even know if I like boys anymore or just nned them to feel normal. I know that I like girls but my mom told me “we dont do that in this house” and I know she loves me but shes trying more the “fix” me than to just let me live my life how I want to and honsetly I want to leave but then she may be even more disappointed. and my dad also tells me hes always there to talk but he makes stupid backhanded homophobic comments and so does my brother. and I know both my sisters and supportive but they never stand up for me one of them even outed me to my mom and then she reprimanded be because “you have to be two people to use they/them prounouns” and even worse my best friend and the only person I can really confide in is forgetting me for her boyfriend and I cant do this anymore. everything feels wrong all the time and I dont know what to do anymore. jeez sorry for the rant lol had to get it off my chest some how ig

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023