I piss in the shower :( one time, I needed to pee, so I pissed in the shower. I feel so guilty and don't think I can live with myself. It has become a serious addiction that has continued for several years, leaving yellow stains on the shower. I need to know if I should seek a therapist to break this addiction, as I fear it is tearing my entire life apart. #showerstains #sad #speakingfromtheheart

So there’s this one guy who I used to talk to and well we both liked each other and we met at church because we are both musicians in a band and we talked for a while he confessed and I did too. We both thought that we would last and maybe grow a future together because that’s how much we liked each other. We used to talk every night till 3-4 in the morning and we would sleep on FaceTime and everything he was the world to me. But there can one night where it was around 1-3 in the morning can’t quite remember but he started telling something about his ex. But I promise on my life that I was asleep when he was telling me this. But out of nowhere he started to wake me up and asking me if I had told anyone about what he send about his ex but I never told anyone because all my family members were asleep and I was falling asleep too. After that he told me that he believed me and it stayed as that. But the next day we were both off, he kept on telling me that I was acting weird but I felt as if I wasn’t but then we got into some sorta disagreement and it turned into a whole chaos. He would tell me that we were off and that he didn’t trust me anymore or something like that but I would always ask him why. I would ask him what I did wrong abut he would always say “I don’t know.” And I would all ways cry at night because I loved him a lot. And I somewhat still do but not as before. After this one Saturday night that I will always remember we talked on the phone and I was a crying mess and he would ask or tell me why I was crying to stop crying but I couldn’t. And I told if he still wanted to talk or something else. He said that he would think about it. He called me later around 2-4 in the morning and he said that we should stay as friends, but in my head I Keene that I couldn’t just stay as friends with him because I just couldn’t but I told him that it was fine. After that we didn’t talk quite much because I would always have to start the conversation and it didn’t seem fair to me. But what I found funny was that my dumbass asked him out as a joke like for real but he told me that he was already talking to someone else and it hurt me a lot but because I was like what happened to all the “I love you’s “ and a whole bunch of other stuff. But we finished on good conditions but then my uncle (his pastor) came to play at our church and he was there too. I told him about everything that happened and he says that the guy I was talking to was a kid in those types of things that he doesn’t take it seriously and my uncle was going to talk to him.(I don’t know if he did or didn’t so..) and the said before that for relationships he doesn’t have time for that. But right what I want to know if he’s maybe worth waiting for or wait for God to do something about it and also if I should talk to him about what he said that if he knew himself that he doesn’t take relationships seriously why did he like play with me or my feelings you know.

• June 5, 2023