I never had time during the day to go outside and see my dog(s) but specifically my lab. She had been there Sence the day I was born and I always loved her, she was the first and only freind who had never called me weird or had said something snobby. I hadent gone out to see her in around a week, at this point in life I knew she was going soon but I didn't want to accept that. One day at school she passed and my mom didn't bother to tell me till right before I decided to go out and see the dogs. My soul skipped a beat In that moment and I didn't even cry;I almost never cry around anyone and i wasn't going to then either. When we went to burry her I sat in the truck and waited and didn't shed a tear. My sibling (way younger 9+6) acted as if they were her best friend. That is what made me die even more inside. I cried every night for that month to sleep cause I couldn't risk crying Infront of other people, "I'd come off to be selfish, a attention seeker, weak to others if I cried" I told myself. I can't go a day without thinking of her and how she was my only true friend.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023