I love my dad don't get me wrong but sometimes I just wish he wasn't my dad. He is the reason I have so much anger in me. He spent 16 years making my life shit. He wants me, my sister and mom to do bad in life, he hates the idea of us having any money and thinks it's all his. He let his wife yell at me and say I never cared about my uncle passing 4 days before my 13th birthday from cancer and then was on her side, saying me and my sister for yelling back. He would use me crying as a way to make me feel stupid. He would get mad at having to buy me and my sister lady products, me and her would go 2 or 3 days without eating nothing but 4 cookies bc we were scared to ask for food, but once we leave he would buy him and his wife fast food. He is sexist, racist and homophobic. He said it was my fault why we don't have a relationship but he is the same one that would go months without asking to see us and when we did see him, we would stay in our room the whole time. I love him as a father but I don't love or respect him as a dad.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023