I like to hurt others on an emotional level because I know how much it hurts.I will even get into an argument with my mom and hit her with real nasty remarks and stuff I k ow will personally hurt her and make her cry, I love my mom m and when I look back I feel unworthy of life. I don’t like to do that but I do it gives me joy and I know that makes me a bad person but I just wish I could change I don’t want to be the bad guy I’m tired of it sometime I punch trees or walls or fence posts till I start bleeding to make up for the pain I caused other but I still find my self doing it… I need help.

i’m tired. i used to be a straight A student all through middle school. i was a good kid. never argued, had lots of friends, was likable, nice, i loved my life. i’m now a freshman in high school, so i’m not that old. i’m scared to eat, i can’t trust anyone, i’m failing 4 classes, i don’t come out of my room, just lost my best friend, my ex who i still love despises every inch of me. it’s taking a toll on my mental health and i’m just tired of being here. tired of pretending i’m happy just so other people don’t worry about me. i don’t know what to do, how to react. my anxiety is over the roof, to where i can’t even get out of bed. i got diagnosed with being bipolar, which is hard. i just don’t know what to do. i’m trying but i’m so tired. i’m running out of options.

• August 2, 2023