I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, I have such a privileged life and I’m fucking depressed I hate myself,everyone hates me, my mum is so mean to me and favours my sister and the only people that understood me died. 3 cats 1 dog and my grandpa died in 18 months they were my best friends now I feel I’m alone in this world.My teacher makes fun of my dead cats all because she’s mad at my family for her actions. I want to die. I’m so depressed bc I get treated so awfully. I’m the therapist friend and I take the blame for everything bc I don’t want my “friends” to get in trouble and the one friend I do have annoys me and I hate it. We get along so well but she can’t manage without me. I am so sick of being bullied endlessly I want to kill myself. I know no one will miss me but my dad. If my dad died I would definitely kms I need help but I’m so happy no one thinks I need it what do I do

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023