I don't know how to start this cause I've never opened up about anything but I take care of my little sister my mother and my 2 nephews ever since I was in high-school I've never experienced going out hanging with friends or living MY life because I've spent my life right now taking care of them I had to get 2 jobs to barely support everything and I'm just tired.. on my drive home from work I close my eyes sometimes on the highway when Noone is around just wishing my car would lose control and that would be it.. I feel like if I try to live my life I will be selfish thinking about myself and even if I wanted to all my money goes to bills school activities and necessities we need for the house and groceries so I just sit in silence putting on a smile everyday pretend everything is fine but it's really not.. I know someone out there has it worst but for me my life this is hard.. and I want out already..

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023