I am always constantly jealous of my younger siblings. My parents raised them and act so differently around them then they did with me. I’ll see them buy my siblings presents and tell them that they are “proud of them” and that they “love them,” but I never got that. I was forced to mature really quickly and had to take care of myself. Heck, I don’t even remember a time where they told me they loved me or even hugged me. Because of all of this, I don’t really know what it means to love someone or to be loved and I don’t ever really know if I’m actually happy or just faking it. I feel bad because I’m never exactly sure how to act around friends and what to do when it comes to romantic stuff. My friends will say “I love you” and other words of affirmation, but sometimes I don’t know how to return it because I never learned how. Other times I will because I’m afraid I’ll lose them if I don’t or that I’m not giving enough and undeserving of the kindness they’re giving me.