I am a addict, I’ve been a addict/alcoholic since I was 13. I’m 35 now and have continuously battled many addictions, waves of substituting one thing for the next just to curve withdrawals, lying to my family and friends that I am alright, even though they all know I am not, but mostly feeling like they just given up on me, like I have myself so many times. Depression holes and abusing even the drugs that are supposed to balance out the imbalances. I hope one day, I won’t want or need any of it anymore but the truth is I’m more scared of being completely sober because mentally I’m not well either. I just wish I was okay, and this part of my journey would be over with.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023