I always put people before me because I don’t know how to deal with my own problems. It’s gotten to the point where I somehow attract lots of broken people and I hold in their burden and trauma. “Oh you’re such a good listener” or “you give the best advice” but I can’t even follow my own advice. I would like to have someone listen to my problems and not have to listen to everyone else’s problems. Now I’m scared to tell people about myself. No one really knows who or how I am as a person. I don’t want to listen to peoples sewerslide attempts, or their grievances. I know that makes me a horrible and selfish person, but I can’t continue to be onna call with someone who’s attempting sewerslide or listen to it. I’m just a teenager. A broken kid just like them, and they use me as their scapegoat to happiness. I like helping people, I do, but when I have to hear them saying sad things or see them do sad things, it drains the life, soul, and energy out of me. I feel so lifeless, and no one sees or gets that except my one person. I don’t want to listen to them be sad anymore. And I know that makes me a horrible selfish person I know.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023