Hy, I just wanted to tell and ask something. So I'm sixteen and I dont know what it is but I've always felt lonely. I still remember some moments of when I was 4-5 years old and I felt sooo lonely. I remember one time my mom putted me in my bed and I felt soo lonely that I started to hate my life as a 4 year old. And this loneliness has always remained. Btw I'm the oldest of 4 children. This loneliness has actually made me a person who never talks about her feelings. When I was 9 I was bullied at shool but I've never told anyone about it. I cried all the time at school but when I came home I putted a fake smile before my parents and siblings. Till this day no one knows about it, because I refuse to tell anyone. Does anyone has experienced this before, because it's so weird. And is it normal that I am experiencing this since such a young age? I have a lovely family, but still... I'm feeling so lonely and empty. (Sorry for my bad english)

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023