Growing up all I wanted was to fit in. Coming from a broken household I craved for validation. Though at the time I didn't notice I was slowly losing the real me. That's if I even had a real me to begin with. Every decision I made was based upon people near me. I've never made a decision of my own accord. I realized to late that the only validation I needed was myself. Sometimes in the middle of the night I think about the life I could have had. Why didn't I say no? Why didn't I say I don't agree? Why didn't i speak my mind? Why, why, why ,why. The word why haunts me to this day. I never had a role model i could look up to so I don't blame younger me for making mistakes such as that, but some mistakes will follow you forever. I wonder if I would have been in STEM or maybe on my way to Mars or maybe.... just maybe I could have been a best selling author. Now I'm stuck in time dreading the life I've lead. I wonder if I'll ever move forward . Thank you for reading.

I have many regrets in life, but this one is the cherry on top. As I've said in the previous forms I've submitted I come from a broken and disheveled household. Since my upbringing I've become deeply depressed. As I get older my will to live weakens, and the only reason I've made it this far in life is because I have a little brother seven years younger than me. His name is Mark and he's the most precious thing in this world. I love him to death and I would protect him with my life. At first I thought "As long as he lives and breathes so will I" I was confident in that decision and yet here I am hoping the next morning I don't wake up. Every regret in my life catches up to me. At times I'm afraid I'll really do it. Though because I'm afraid at that thought I have hope I'll gain the courage to live on and see him grow into an outstanding gentleman (or lady the choice is all his). Now for the main part of this message I want to say that my biggest regret is letting my surroundings define who I am, because now I'm a mess. To everyone who reads this I want to say to you to not let your mistakes or the people around you mold you into a terrible person. You are not your mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc. You can be better than them and I truly believe that. I fear it is a bit to late for me now but it's not for you. Lastly. As I write this my fingers tremble as I'm afraid to submit this but I know there's someone out there who's exactly like me. I hope my message gives strength to those who need it. Thank you for reading. English is not my first language and I need more work on my punctuation but If you post this I would love tips on how I can improve and how you received my message. Thank you again.

• July 31, 2023