Dating my first girlfriend. It’s childish as hell but here we are. It was grade 9. I was desperate and lonely. I wasn’t a bad looking dude. Not hot, but not ugly ya know? I had just got “dumped” by a pretty girl I was talking to but I knew that my first girlfriend would date me if I expressed that I wanted her. As time went on I grew to “love” her. (I didn’t find out what real love was until a few years ago). Grade 9 came and passed and we had been dating a full year. Halfway through grade 10 she went on a mock-parliament trip and my life long best friend happened to be going too. When they met they hit it off a little too well. He would use his weirdly charismatic moves on her and apparently she dug that. Anyways, they began to text and eventually during the summer of grade 11, they started some form of an online relationship with each other while we were still together. At the beginning of grade 11 we broke up, and about a week later I found out about everything. My friend told me everything out of guilt and pressure from myself. Told me every last detail. She was furious and would never forgive him, and was more pissed at him than sorry to me lol. We fought and stayed single for about a month and then rekindled things. Probably due to familiarity. But also because I wanted to cheat on her with as many people, and then tell her all about it so she could feel a sliver of the pain I felt. I ended up cheating with 3 girls, and then never telling her. After we ended things for good, I’ve been cheated on by almost every subsequent girlfriend. It was like I was attracted to that type of girl. My first girlfriend started a streak of trust issues and crushing blows to my mental well-being ruining every subsequent relationship I’ve ever been in. Every. Single. One. Even my current one suffers from it. Yes, I’ve been in therapy for about 2 years. Yes I’m on medication.