Choosing a girl over family I was 18 at this time started a new relationship with a girl I thought was the one anyway one day in particular her and my family got into an argument and it caused her to leave and she gave me a few seconds to choose between her or my family, I quietly walked out with no words all I can hear is my mom breaking down crying “don’t leave” those words still haunt me and I haven’t heard or seen my family since I’m 22 now single and alone with no one.

When I was younger(4) my cousins used to touch me inappropriately. I remember being pulled behind curtains and chairs only to be told to touch someone or be touched. I remember this happening so many times. Then when I was like 9 or 10 some kids came over to my house and I remember making one touch me. I thought since it was done to me, maybe it was okay. But, even though I was little I’ve never felt more irritated in my life. I still see those cousins. They still come around. I act like I don’t remember because they probably think I don’t. It breaks my heart when I do because I feel so irritated with my body and feel like I can never trust anyone with it. I just hate it, remembering it. When they slept over and made me touch them. These days I’m forcing myself to forget because It hurts to remember.

• January 8, 2023