Big regret. This girl in my science class wanted me to sit next to her, we were talking a lot before this and it was going very good. The next day she was there and so was her friend, I had the opportunity right there and I didn’t take it because I was scared of what her friend would’ve said. Fast forward a couple years to now, me about to cry about it when talking to my friend about this. She was nice, very sweet, cute and funny. I doubt it’d be possible to start anything again, she has a bf and a place with him now. I lie awake almost every night, regretting about what could have been.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023