Basically my sister started dating one of her friends when they were 16 and he was a very close family friend I guess because of that. They were together for about 5 years, and he even moved with us to another country to stay with my sister. The point is my sister was incredibly emotionally attached to him because of her anxiety and depression, and because he had helped her through a lot of struggles. However, when they first started dating, he would sometimes come to the house and while we were playing a game (and my sister or mom were busy doing something else) he would touch himself. Me being about 10 I had no idea what that was but I just felt completely disgusted because of that, he did that a few times and even one time when my mom asked him to pick me up as a favor he suddenly stopped the car and asked if I loved him and started touching ny leg. Nothing happened but I was scared nonetheless. The duration he and my sister together I made myself believe that he never did that and, the actual reason she finally broke up with him was because I decided to tell my mom. We cut all ties with him however I still feel guilty about this, and it didn’t help that they tried to confront him and he denied everything. Sometimes I feel like I ended everything because of something I imagined, deep down I know it’s not true but I feel like I can’t trust myself. I have even had dreams where he appears and I try to tell everything to my mom and sister but they don’t believe me. I have a great family but I still get these dreams once and a while and I wake up crying.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023