Am i the asshole because I kind of resent my best friend for killing himself? I know how that makes me sound- i understand where he comes from and why he would do it seeing as he has a very abusive and neglectful dad while his mom was a drunk in another state. Not to mention everyone at his school hated him. Now that we have the reasons why he did what he did i wanna get to how he killed himself. He blew his brains out. Which is a typical way to kill yourself but he did it on the phone with me. A facetime too. Not only is that traumatic but he was also my only friend. My literal only friend. So i was sent into a downward spiral with my mental health. Which caused me to become a therapist friend but also caused me to cling to any friendship like i would cling to a gift from him. But instead of finding good friends i found very toxic people who gave me more mental issues than there are animals in a zoo. And because of my many issues it made me become very suicidal. But i promised my friend id never commit. So i didnt for a long time. And then i tried and failed. Never being able to vent because i was the therapist. Always being made fun of. And then i got a call. From my dead friend. I really thought he faked his death and i picked up the phone to his older brother (who had been in the army) sobbing and holding a piece of paper from my friend. It was his suicide note. I was first and last love. He left me money. I gave it to his brother so he could move away from his dad. I have no idea where he got $10000 from but his suicide note said i was the only girl he ever loved and he loved me till death. Which made me very weary of relationships. Am i the asshole? Please be honest. No one ever tells me the truth..