Am committing suicide in the next three weeks, I have prepared everything to console my mother. I wish I did better. This life isn’t mine. I look and act happy but deep down I screwed up. I hope they forgive me.

I went to a high school that overworked me and made me lose motivation in everything. I regret going there and if given the chance I would have left the first year. I stuck through it because I was worried my family would think bad about me. I almost didn't graduate because in the last year during my pandemic I just lost myself. I've been lost ever since. I decided to not go to college at the last minute and I've been working ever since. The second I told my parents I knew I lost their support. And now here I am lost. Scared. And wishing I had somebody to hug me tight. I ignore the scary reality, instead of adulting and dealing with it. One of my greatest weaknesses that I just can't manage to fix. I told everybody I'd go back to school in a year... I haven't taken any steps to doing so.

• June 26, 2023