a guy i really liked so much, at the time i really considered him my bestfriend i chose to open up about my sexual assault and when the assault happened… we said goodbye for now a few weeks before my anniversary date to each other since he thought it was best to have a break with eachother because he made me sad and when i reached out to him for help to be there for me on my rape anniversary and he blocked me on everything. to this day i don’t know why.. he knows i don’t tell people and i think it’s the bare minimum to be there for me when i opened up about it. i don’t think it’s okay for me to feel more ashamed to reach out for help then the assault happening itself, i still don’t feel okay and haven’t told anyone what happened between us because i can’t even come to terms with what happened

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023