HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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I don’t think I’ll ever know happiness. I crave love and attention in both a romantic and friendship sense and I can never keep it. I used to be so good at school which brought me happiness, but now that I’m struggling I don’t do very well in my classes and its taken such a toll on the view I have of myself. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to keep living. I hate everything about myself. I don’t know how to tell people about it either because it just comes across as negative.

March 23, 2023

When I was 10 I walked in on my parents..... We had just learned about all of that in school so I ran to my room and cried and all of us pretended like it didn't happen.

March 23, 2023

My one hope for life was for a girl to give me a chance. This was in 6th grade but I have a girl I really liked. It took me about 4 months to confess to her. When I did confess she accepted my feelings and I could barely contain my happiness. She did ask that we kept it a secret so her friends wouldn't find out. Which was fine with me considering I didn't like her friends but I wanted her to keep her friend group. We went strong for a year, until one day I went to her parents weren't home. As I walked in I saw her making out on the couch with my best friend. She instantly broke up with me and I left the house breaking down into tears. I changed schools soon after in hopes of never seeing her again. Then I had seen her 2 years ago and I thought she had a change of heart. So I hung out with her just to get reminded on why I left in the first place. She bullied and degraded me. To this day I wish I could get back I'm tike and trust that I wasted on her.

March 23, 2023

When I was 8 years old boy, I was sexually abused by my babysitter. She was my 16 years old cousin. She wanted me to pretend that I was rapping her, I did not really understand and I was definitely not sexually developed yet. In high school I started to hate myself and would go in the closet where my dad stored his hunting riffle, put a cartridge in it and point it to my head. I stopped myself every time because I did not want to shame my family and did not want my mom to find me bloodied in a closet. Since being an adult I have the urge to push back emotionally when my girlfriend show me love and then get her affection when she is upset with me. I probably need help :o(

March 22, 2023

The worst part is each year I get older, the fighting gets worse. I can no longer go to my room for peace when my parents are fighting. It’s gotten so bad I can hear them through the vents. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t listen to them fight everytime something goes wrong it’s mentally draining, and I’m so tired. I just want some peace. Is that too much to ask?

March 22, 2023

I used to live with my aunt and her kids. One day, I took the garbage out with my cousin and we hid. He said “do you want to try something?” I said sure,not knowing what it was. He would rub against me or tell me to touch it. I was taken advantage of and did not realize until I was older. I keep all these things to myself,afraid,trying to be “happy” and I do no tell anyone because in my culture,family would get mad at you for speaking up and ruining the bond between our familie.

March 22, 2023

I met a girl about 5 years ago and it was through a rehearsal of my friends 15 party, we met and got to know each other, in the first year we got to know each other and for the other years we fell in love. Keep in mind that she could never leave her house because her parents couldn’t let her have a boyfriend, for the last 5 years we only got to see each other like 6 times. During this time I had a hard time with myself and was always caught in a dark side, so I asked for time (like 2 weeks), even told her that I’ll come back even better to love her more. Skip to 5 years later, she is with another guy,happy and loving life without me in it. Just hope she can come back with so many of the promises we were planning to accomplish.

March 22, 2023

When I was about 4 maybe 5, my family had just finished harvesting and jarring our annual raspberry jam. My mom always bought tons of peanut butter when we got our jam so we could get PB&Js and make a whole bunch for the homeless in the community. Well I thought it would be a great idea to become a PB&J that day. So I did. I used probably 6 jars of peanut butter and 12ish jars of jam and covered the walls so I could become a massive PB&J.

March 22, 2023

(tw) when i was ten years old i had my first suicide attempt. i tried jumping out of my mothers car but she grabbed me as i took of my seatbelt and tried. a lot of the times i wish she would put her ego aside and actually think abt y i would do that. i would never tell my mother straight up to her face that she’s a bad mother, no. but when i was 11 her and i got into a huge fight because she said she was a bad mother (all i did was turn on the tv) i told her i wanted to kms and she laughed it off. a few months after that she found a suicide letter to my family and she yelled at me for it. not even try to comfort me. she just got mad. made me feel like a disappointment. she said, “well since i’m such a bad mother how abt u go live with ur grandma” so she drove me over there. ever since then i’ve never really felt like i’ve been living for myself. it feels like when i try to kms and my mom finds out abt the suicide letters she’s more mad that i feel this way than at least concerned as to y i feel this way.

March 22, 2023

I’m so close to un-aliving myself because of all the drama and family problems i go through, it’s sickening to me, im so close to just leaving this world because my mom doesn’t understand me. I want her to understand but she won’t, she knows i’ve been struggling for years on end and still doesn’t understand or even try to listen anymore because she probably thinks im using it for clout or some sh*t…what do i do?

March 22, 2023