HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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For years now I’m struggled with a problem regarding my love life. I’m a simp at heart and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love finding someone to simp over and going through the talking stage and getting to know them better and even the excitement before getting to see them in person or around school. It’s exhilarating and I love the way my heart races or when I smile at their texts. I’m a hopeless romantic not because I’ve experienced much in real life but because my passion is reading romance novels. I read 2 to 5 full length romance books a week and I love it. My issue is that the second I discover or even feel like the person I’m simping over likes me back, I get crippling anxiety and I ghost them or friend zone them. Obviously when I simp over these guys a relationship is what I want because I desperately crave falling in love but when they tell me they like me back or ask me on a date or even act like they’re interested back I get severe panic attacks and sometimes they get so bad I get physically ill. I crave physical touch but I’m fucking terrified of it and I don’t know how to help myself or find the route of this issue. I’ve been going to therapy for like 6+ months and not even my therapist can figure it out. I’m 18 and I’ve never had my first kiss, gone on a date, or even really done much more than holding hands with a guy and even then I panic. It’s gotten so bad I’ve even considered the possibility that I’m asexual or something like that. I guess I’m looking for advice or even seeing if anyone has ever had this problem and how they dealt with it because I’m fed up with it and I really just want to experience love or even just be physical with someone without the dread. People that I’ve confided in about this in past have just told me “it’s normal! It’s just nervousness!!” But I’ve been Nervous before and this just isn’t the same

July 29, 2023

As A Kid My Sister Would Often Molest Me. She Made Me Believe That It Was Normal, That It Was A Game That We Were Playing. To This Day I Am Haunted By Those Memories Of Her. And Because Of Her I Also Began Kissing Two Of My Cousins. I Hate Myself For Being So Stupid At The Time, So Gullible, And Because I Probably Gave My Cousins The Trauma That Messed Me Up In The Head. I Am Sorry To My Cousins For What I Did. But Just Know That I Was Only Kissing Them, What She Did To Me Was Much Worse. Intimacy Scares Me Now. Whenever People Try To Get Close To Me I Push Them Away.

July 29, 2023

I have had pedophilic intrusive thoughts ever since I hit puberty. For years I would hurt myself whenever I had them because I felt I needed to be punished for it. I grew up in a Christian household and was raised on the idea that thoughts were just as had as actions, so I was very disgusted with myself and confused as well I've now been in therapy for several years. I've come to terms with the fact that, because I was raped at a very young age, the sexual wiring of my brain got fucked up. With therapy and support from others who understand, I've managed to get those intrusive thoughts to be pretty much non-existent and I'm so much happier That's why I believe that people like me really just need the proper help, so long as they are non-offending and know it's wrong. Demonizing people just for having those thoughts, when it usually comes from trauma, isn't right or fair

July 29, 2023

I have always had a secret I wanted to let go of. I have problems with everything I do. It doesn’t sound that big but I think of everything I do every single day. It’s like I overthink but x10 today my dad was yelling at me and my brother for waking up late for school and I started crying. He felt really bad and I started crying even more when I realized why he was that mad he had went to sleep after 3 am and was tired he woke up early to drive down to crispy Cremes just to get us Valentine’s Day donuts I feel like I ruined his Valentine’s Day really badly and I started crying after school because my dad didn’t feel good (didn’t have covid he took a test) and he STILL had to go to work he gets off of work at midnight everyday I feel so freaking bad and I feel like it’s my fault for everything. I didn’t even finish my donut because I was so sad. I cry writing this because I love him so much and I would die for him so it hurts to see my parents try so hard just for me to be upset about something so little. I hate myself and I deserve to go to hell

July 29, 2023

I’m 17 I started smoking so one day when I was high I fucked a dude and I have a girlfriend, I regret it so bad and I’m not gay I just let it happened maybe because I was high. My second time being high I did the same thing again and now i regret it everyday it comes back every time I look at my girl like I feel like I should tell her but I know she gon break up with me and she gon be sad asf so I’m protecting her

July 29, 2023

I told my best friend about how my older brother Tried to r@pe me and succeeded. Eventually, me and her stopped being friends over the summer. Recently, she started telling people about it. When I go anywhere I can see people whispering about me and the girl who started telling people. I don’t know what to do, and the worst part is is that idk if she said some other stuff as well. What do I do?

July 28, 2023

when i was 15, my bestfriend was 18 and we did everything together. I was at his house all the time- we were always together. i’d never done anything seggsual (except like kiss someone) before with anyone and i didn’t plan on it for a long long time. we got into a huge fight and didn’t talk for a few days but then we made up. one night we were at his house and were watching movies, he looked over at me and kissed me. i was completely fine with him kissing me but then he started asking if i wanted to do more and i said no, he just kept asking why. fast forward to another night and he asked me the same thing and i said no again and again, but he kept asking why and then i was so scared so i just said ok. that was my first time and it kept happening. he knew i was uncomfortable and that i didn’t want to. i feel like it’s all my fault, even though i said no.now im almost 18 and i still think about it and it hurts me.

July 28, 2023

Alr so.. when I was younger I would get physically abused everyday till until about the age of 12 when I was saved from that home. (I’m 17 this year …) I always thought it was normal to grow up that way.. idk why I thought parents did that. I’m working through therapy but even they don’t know the darkest part about it . Anyway.. I still love them with everything In me.. that’s the problem tho.. im afraid to let go of the people I love the most . What do I do bcs I keep self harming and idk what to do anymore people keep leaving and hurting me so.. it’s like what do I even do yk. It’s too painful to even bring up verbally .. so yeah thanks for listening

July 28, 2023

I like to hurt others on an emotional level because I know how much it hurts.I will even get into an argument with my mom and hit her with real nasty remarks and stuff I k ow will personally hurt her and make her cry, I love my mom m and when I look back I feel unworthy of life. I don’t like to do that but I do it gives me joy and I know that makes me a bad person but I just wish I could change I don’t want to be the bad guy I’m tired of it sometime I punch trees or walls or fence posts till I start bleeding to make up for the pain I caused other but I still find my self doing it… I need help.

July 28, 2023

While teaching about a particular historical figure, I try to wake this kid up. "Did he sell drugs?" "...no" "then I don't give a shit"

July 28, 2023