HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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I feel selfish for saying this but I want my parents to die young so I can suffer without them seeing me. I want to fuck up my life and eventually kms but I dont want my parents to be around when it happens. It sucks bc I love my family but I'm not planning on staying alive through adulthood. I would probably be dead right now if it weren't for them so it feels really selfish to want them to die young

June 27, 2023

When I was five, I was SA'd by my father. And it was the most terrifying thing I've been through. I still never truly got over it and I don't expect myself to. But lately, I've been remembering everything, and I've come to realize it wasn't just the one time I managed to remember at 8. It's starting to affect my relationship because I'm starting to get scared to have s*x because of the flashbacks. I'm honestly scared.

June 27, 2023

When I was younger my older brother and i had a tree house and i wanted to go and hang out with him. So I went up and found him and my younger brother together. We were hanging out and then they had an arm wrestling match and the loser had to show the other their private areas. They did this all the time. I tried to leave but they didn't let me. My mom had left to go to the store so it was me, my older brother (12), and my younger Brother (5). My older brother lost and pulled his pants down. After that We went inside to watch tv but my older brother wanted to do something else. So we went to my room and he made me take all my clothes off. He wanted to see what girls looked like. He didn't touch me but it was still traumatizing. I ended up crying and told him I'd tell mom. He said sorry and gave me some money and told me not to tell anyone. I never told any one I'm know 15 and hes 19. We have never spoken about it since and I never told a soul

June 27, 2023

I woke up to the sound of breaking glass and adults arguing. Mom and friends were drinking. Cops got called. Got put into foster care with my sister. There was a entertainment tv stand with tape on the floor where I couldn't cross around it. "Don't sit too close to the tv" type of deal. I crossed the tape line. That night I was punished. But I was molested by the foster parent. I was 6 or 7. Maybe there a week until my dad was contacted and we moved in with him. I was starting 2nd grade from what I can remember. Years later that tape line send me back to that night of pain and crying. I get triggered when I see caution tape. As time went on through my adulthood I got the urge to hurt kids the way I was. But I didn't want to. Once I found drugs it helped me to escape. I then became a needle poking junkie of whatever I could shoot to keep those urges at bay. I ruined my life so I wouldn't ruin others. I'm now 33 and 27 months into recovery. I'm writing a book to free myself of this experience

June 27, 2023

My life started going downhill in 2020 pre pandemic. COVID was honestly the least of my concerns. I’ve kept it all to myself bc I don’t want to burden anyone and I don’t feel comfortable opening up to ppl. I was 13 when the problems began and I’ll be 16 this year. At 14 I started to get thoughts that I shouldn’t have been having like suicidal stuff . I’ve also heavily considered running away from home bc then I’d still be away from the problems but not be dead yk? I don’t want to die but I kinda hate living too. It seems stupid but idk how else to explain it. I want to get help and go to therapy or something but I’m Latina and my parents don’t really care much abt mental health and whatnot. That’s it, I just needed to vent ig.

June 26, 2023

one night i was hanging out with my bestfriend, her boyfriend and some of his friends. i’ve always thought one of her boyfriends friend was cute so i was flirting with him. as the night goes by they leave me and him alone in a truck so they could go get snacks, he then asked me to touch him. i say no and how i was not comfortable with that but he still began taking it out and putting it on my leg. i said i’m not going to do anything so please put it away. he finally did after 5 minutes. i don’t know what to think about this, did i get sa?

June 26, 2023

I went to a high school that overworked me and made me lose motivation in everything. I regret going there and if given the chance I would have left the first year. I stuck through it because I was worried my family would think bad about me. I almost didn't graduate because in the last year during my pandemic I just lost myself. I've been lost ever since. I decided to not go to college at the last minute and I've been working ever since. The second I told my parents I knew I lost their support. And now here I am lost. Scared. And wishing I had somebody to hug me tight. I ignore the scary reality, instead of adulting and dealing with it. One of my greatest weaknesses that I just can't manage to fix. I told everybody I'd go back to school in a year... I haven't taken any steps to doing so.

June 26, 2023

i Regret turning my sadness to anger and putting that ager to other people because you really never know how long u have with them people like one day i have a TERRIBLE day at school i got a bus ticket yelled at school got in trouble and they asked how was your day and i yelled leave me alone when all the were doing was trying to help so you see you may be depressed or any emotion avoid turning you sadness into anger and pulling them out on the wrong people.

June 26, 2023

i want to die. it’s crazy this is the first time I’ve actually written that because I’m scared of the truth. I always thought mentally I was okay. I thought I could do it or I could just forget I’m sad. I know, it sounds stupid but genuinely I want to be happy. I want to stop thinking I’ll kill myself. I want to stop trying to find excuses why I should stay alive. Recently the excuse of my mom hasn’t been helping. And now I’m scared one day I’ll be done.it started after my cousin touched me when I was 6. i remember it like it was yesterday. I removed the feelings I had while he touched me. I remember the fear I felt and how I wanted to run. I remember all the people in the room watching it happen and not helping. I also remember me not saying anything for weeks because I was afraid my family would yell at me. And then it happened when I was 9, 11 and 14. I remember everything and I’ve never told a soul what happened. I mean ofc people know but not how many times or who did it. I refuse to be labeled as a victim. Because those who are, are just the victims. Not the survivors and not the ones who made a change. I can’t go to my friends because they never really have time for me. I’ll make time for them always idc I worked three full time jobs at once and always made time. But I understand sometimes it might be harder for others. It’s okay.

June 25, 2023

Im mentally ill and i cant stop the urge to kill everything in my vision. People at school call me a demon cause every time i fought some one they end up in the Hospital. What should i do how can i stop its kill me from the inside? I take pills they don't FUCKING work. I got help first word they said when i tell them my story is GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL. Why so they can just GIVE ME MORE PILL THAT DONT FUCKING WORK ? PLEASE HELP ME IM GOING FUCKING INSANE

June 25, 2023