HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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When I was younger I was really close to my father but as I grew up we kind of drifted apart and started fighting. Two years ago, we had a big fight that ended in us not talking to each other at all. He also cut me off. At that time ( in grade 12) I hated him so much to the point where I wanted him dead, ( I didn't mean it though ). In December of 2020 he had covid and grew very sick to the point where he was in hospital for days. My family and I were given the chance to give him a voice message before he passed away, instead of saying I love you and apologizing I said I had nothing to say and he passed a few days later. Apart of me feels like it's my fault and I will never forgive myself for thinking that. He tried his best with me and I was too much of a bitch to see that.

June 28, 2023

I have a crush on one of my close guy friends. I only ever hangout with him when other people are around. Those other people include, his two best friends, which I don’t like and one of my best friends. Everytime we go to his house, we all talk and it’s usually my best friend and him really close talking together. Whenever I’m talking with him we are usually next to each other so our arms or legs touch and neither of us move them away. My best friend is a “I don’t care” person and she like tackles him for fun sometimes. I don’t know which one he likes better but all of my friends think that my best friend and him would be better couple. I haven’t told my best friend that I like him because she would definitely tell him. I don’t know what to do.

June 28, 2023

Sometimes I crave the feeling of being hated and completely alone. I always feel like a burden to those around me, but I know they love me. It's almost as if I am being punished for hating myself by realizing what would happen if I pulled the trigger. If I could talk harshly or spin ill-thought lies and break the hearts of those around me maybe then I could really feel alone, get what I deserve; but I can't, I'm only a bad person when no one is around. I'm too much of a coward to reveal my true self, the one that's struggled with disgusting habits, the one that can't say no, the one that will never change deep within. So instead I bite my tongue and lather them up with witty words and paint myself pretty. If I won't allow myself to indulge in their words, I guess I'll survive only to feed off my own pathetically shaming insults.

June 28, 2023

Honestly, I feel like I'm in such a bad place right now. I just need to vent. I need to get my grades up. I need to be making more money. Everyone said "just get a new job" like it's so easy. I've applied to so many places and no reply. I feel like I just need a while to myself to get my life together. Not trying to say it's my friends faults but I need to stop going and hangin out with everyone and focus on myself. I need to lose weight to even look at myself. I'm only 16. This is too much for me. No one realizes I'm hurting inside. I don't show it because I'm the one everyone goes too. I've never been able to open up about my feelings. I'm too scared to tell anyone how I feel because I don't want pity. If I tell someone how I feel I want reassurance and help. No one gets that. No one's helping. I feel so lonely.

June 28, 2023

Since the start of the pandemic I have refused to wear a mask, get vaccinated, or even wash my hands more than once or twice a day. I have traveled to 7 us states for construction related work over the past 2 years all with the same stance on covid that is wasn't real. Anytime I was sick I refused testing and carried on with my normal daily life. After 2 years and countless arguments with others. I have come to the conclusion that covid was nothing more than a way to divide us even further than politics. However the government, pharmaceutical company's, and big tech will never let this story see the light of day.

June 27, 2023

I’ve been thinking about talking about this subject for awhile so here it is. A few years ago I was feeling a bunch a feelings all at once, like it was a lot for me… so I tried to off myself . I tried twice but I don’t want to say anything because I’ve been feeling like this again and my mom has threatened to sent me away and I don’t want that. So I’m just keeping it all to myself.

June 27, 2023

My great grandmother was around 92 years old when she passed away. Throughout my life I have seen her a lot since she lives relatively close (about 20-30 mins away). I moved away to florida for college in 2020. Fall of my freshman year in college covid was huge and my great grandmother wasn’t doing too well. Spring rolled around and my great grandmother had beaten covid and pneumonia. She was a very strong woman. I was about a month away from being home when she was put in the hospital again for covid symptoms. Everything seemed to be fine with her health but my mom asked me to facetime her cause she missed me. I facetimed her later that night and promised her I would see her in a month. She passed away about a week later while I was on spring break. It was slightly unexpected given her age and health condition. I was at the bar with my friends. Safe to say it changed my night around really fast. I was 3 hours away from my school with friends for spring break. My parents didn’t want to fly me all the way up the next day for the funeral and ruin the rest of my vacation because it was a decent amount of money to fly on such short notice. I watched the funeral from a room at my friends beach house. I couldn’t help but cry because of how awful I felt that I couldn’t be there. My regret isn’t that I wasn’t able to say bye. My regret is all the times I could’ve gone over there when i got older and had a car and chose not to because she lived so close and I thought I saw her enough with my family. When I got back home for summer break I went to her grave to honor the last promise I made to her. Just wish I could’ve did it in person.

June 27, 2023

so this is hard for me to say. but when i was 14 years old my father passed away in a traggic accident i was were really close with him since my mums always battled with a dug addiction. i’m an only child so my dad use to be my world and he would spoil me rotten. when he passed away my mum got a new boyfriend that caused her to go back on drugs. he one day came home drunk after being at the pub and told me to take my clothes whilst he was holding a kitchen knife. i said no and he threatened to stab my mum. i then undressed in front of him he took one look and me and smiled then he went to bed. i know i wasn’t rapped but it was one of the scariest moments in my life and all i want to do is tell someone about it but i’m to scared it’s not serious enough. fortunately he hasn’t done anything like it since.

June 27, 2023

I was sexually assaulted a couple years ago, really fucked me up. But ever since if I talk to people about it they tell me that I should be over it by now. Which I find funny considering they haven’t experienced that type of thing ever in their life and all of a sudden they get a say in when I’m supposed to be over it. But then again it happened two years ago so should I be over it?

June 27, 2023

I have no idea what's wrong with me. I have always thought I was straight but lately I've been bi-curious. Because of this girl. Whenever I see her.. idk how to describe it. I just feel this sort of way. I would like to get to know her better. I want to protect her too. She's so funny too she never fails to make me laugh. But the reason why I'm having such a hard time figuring out what this feeling is, it's because I've never felt this way for anyone else. Then I thought "maybe I'm bi" but I've never been attracted to any other girl before. So idk if I'm feeling like this motherly nature to like protect her even though she's older than me or something else. When I see her in the hallways I always hope she turns and looks at me. Me and her we're in this club together and she makes this intense eye contact with me which makes me feel this type of way. UGH I WISH I COULD DESCRIBE THIS BETTER! I also have had some sexual fantasies with her. Reading that you may think "oh you're definitely bi" but then again I'm literally not attracted to ANY other girl like none. This is a first. It's so confusing like am I bi but just for her only? Is that a thing? IDK IM SO CONFUSED UGHH

June 27, 2023