HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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I'm a bad kid, being me ik all my family's passwords nobody can hide anything from me without me finding out in due time. I always get in trouble and do stuff to make my mom mad so for some reason I went through my mom's phone through her texts all her listed passwords and I came across a note in her phone it was locked I typed in the password I used to get into her phone and it opened that's how I found out my mom was depressed and planned to.. in a few months my heart dropped at reading this I had been such an awful kid and I was the reason. Then something in me changed and I just couldn't be a bad daughter anymore I wanted to but there was always an invisible force holding me back. I started showing more love and support and on the date that was read on her phone she took me to a bridge over water pulled to the side of the road and told me to get out I panicked because I knew what she was gonna do but instead she came clean to me and we talked and I told her that I already knew about it. As bad of a daughter I was I love and always will love my mom and I couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

August 6, 2023

i really dislike whenever my parents compare me to my other siblings. it’s always “try harder. they get much better grades than you and what do you do? stay on your phone all day.” the thing is, no matter how much i tell them that i actually try hard and study every night, they never believe me. even my own siblings, they see my studying in my room but end up ganging on me with my parents. it’s like my parents don’t even have faith and belief in their daughter anymore. it’s like my own siblings don’t see me as their sister anymore. i really do try my best when it comes to studying. i really do. no matter how hard it is, i take my time out and study, but my family never seems to understand or agree with what i do. even my friends betray me. believe it or not, i have no friends. no one even checks up on me anymore and life is so boring now. i’ve never felt so lonely and so… upset. i cry every night knowing no one cares about me. there are times where i just wanna end it. what’s the point of being alive if no one even cares? no one ever supports me anymore. the smile of me 5 years ago is not the smile i have right now. all i get is blamed at, body shamed at and yelled at.

August 6, 2023

I've never told anyone this but when I was younger like 7-8 uh my brother kinda forced me to give him a bj. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was that it was disgusting and it stank. I remember feeling so suffocated from him hiding me under his covers. I tried getting away. I said I didn't want to but he just covered my mouth with his hand and told me to shh. Maybe it's my fault for being so naive. Just from him saying "I'll give you a soda if you do something for me" and being led into his room. Now I'm hypersexual and I hate myself because of it. I feel so disgusted with myself.

August 5, 2023

i am ok with my life. but sometimes i get this overwhelming urge to just… end it. like i don’t have anymore motivation to finish getting my cna, get married, go on an LDS mission, any of it. sometimes ending things seems like the easiest option. last night i had a thought that said “you’re not supposed to be here anymore.” it really freaked me out cos i don’t really wanna die yet there are still things i do wanna experience. but at the same time i don’t care anymore. i wish i could break my leg or something and spend a couple days in the hospital and then limping around. so that i would have a reason to be sad.

August 5, 2023

When I was little, my (now former) step mother was mean to me. She got in the way of me and my dad, and after dealing with her shit for 9+ years, I began to hate women. When I was 15, enough of my childhood rage had built up, I planned on harming as many people as possible. Fortunately, my mom found my notebook with my plans and enrolled me in professional help. I’m doing much better now. My mom has promised to keep it between us two. It’s honestly embarrassing for me.

August 5, 2023

I feel like my family would be better off without me. I struggle from really bad mental illnesses and feel like they just can’t keep up with me anymore. I also just can’t seem to actually be happy as much as I used to be. My family already has to put up with 3 other kids so it’s not like they would be missing out on much anyways. I try my best to act like I’m ok but just can’t get passed it.

August 5, 2023

One night I was really high biking around with my friends. It was supposed to be a really good night as we had just finished midterms and everything. After biking for some time, however, we managed to lose each other and I found myself biking along a path near my school. Before I knew it, a girl started speed walking right by me. I stopped my bike because I was super confused. It was around 1am that night and she looked pretty flustered like something bad was happening. I just didn’t like the feeling of it. A minute later, a guy dressed in black with jeans on started following her. It took me a minute to realize that something was definitely not right. He kept following her and once she disappeared he began to run after her. I didn’t know what to do and I was completely in shock. The shit that hit me the hardest was the look that she gave me as she was walking away. It looked like her eyes were begging me to help and I didn’t do shit. Whoever you are, I sincerely hope that you’re okay. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you that night. I will hold this against me for the rest of my life.

August 5, 2023

I never told anyone this, not even my therapist and it's been eating me alive for as long as I can remember. Most people hate the feeling of being alone or even lonely. But why do I love the feeling? I always felt like some sort of abnormal, like not human because of the fact I love feeling alone and loneliness. With that love, comes the comfort of suicidal thoughts I had since I was 12. Like how I love to feel alone and lonely, I find immense comfort in those thoughts. It's gone so much to the point where feeling happy truly upsets me.....and I feel embarrassed to admit.

August 5, 2023

My parents split up in August of 2018. I was so mad at him for everything he did to me and my family, including my mom. He chose hard drugs, and to cheat on my mom with her childhood bestfriend. I texted him once in a while, because I was 15 and I wanted to make sure my dad knew I didn’t hate him. Then I cut off contact with him after seeing him again in December and hugging him for the last time. I was never able to see him. In March 2021, (my room was right beside the front door) I took a nap at 6pm and woke up at 8pm, to the front door being opened and my mom talking at the door, my grandma was crying and my siblings were upstairs. I was so confused and my grandma comforted me while crying, I asked her if my dad was dead. She said “yes my girl.. he killed himself..” I was in shock at first and I let out the most blood curdling cry. I regret not talking to him. I believe that it’s my fault he’s dead, because I didn’t talk to him. I have the last message he sent to me, and I read it almost every day. I wish I could have done something to save him. Maybe I could have stopped him.

August 5, 2023

caught my dad watching porn…don’t know what to do and if I should tell my friends mom. They already argue 24/7 so idk (why does this have to be 350 characters) ISISJDHDJDKSKSKSJDJDJSKKSISKKEKEJDJSISJSJSJSJDJDJDJSJSJSJSKSKSKDJDJDHDBDNDAUSUSJJAJSSSDSDDDDDDSSUSUSISIIDISOSISOSISISISIISISISISSUSSUSUSUSUISISISISISISISISIISISHENLPEOEOJSTATATUEIEIEJEHGDYSUAISIEO

August 5, 2023