HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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University professor here. A student last term never purchased the text book (and thus never did his homework), sat in the back and spaced out all class, failed one exam, and barely passed the other. He came to me during the final week of class to ask me if he could do all of his missed assignments and then asked why I didn't remind him to do them. Bro, this is university. I'm not chasing after you.

October 10, 2022

I wanted to (and almost did) kms bc of my older sister. She's 26 and I'm 14. She was the baby before I came along and she's hated me ever since. She and I have the same dad, different mom and she has a younger brother from her mom and her step-dad and I go to school w/ her brother. She never ever came to my basketball games until he got better bc he played after us. She always has a horrible attitude towards me and always has something to say about what I wear, say, do, how I act, what I ear, or how much I eat. She always criticizes me and cannot stop complaining abt me. She mentally exhausts me so so bad. Nothing I do is good enough for her and all I want is for her to GENUINELY love meand actually care about me and not be nice out of pity.. and u can't even cut her off bc she's family and visits all the time

October 10, 2022

I think I have always been suicidal. I remember thinking in 3rd grade how dying wouldn’t be that bad. I didn’t have many friends or people I would’ve considered friends, especially in elementary school I found no value in my life. I have just been living with this thought now and don’t know what to do about it. Being a kid as young as 8 really thought that I would have been better off dead. Nobody knows though.

October 10, 2022

I experienced many forms of sexual trauma at a young age. Some things I remember, a lot I can’t exactly recall. I have intrusive thoughts of things like that all the time, I have broken down multiple times because I want to get rid of those thoughts. I glorify and romanticize my trauma through a fake story I’ve written. I hate it and feel horrible about what I’m doing but I don’t know what else to do. No matter what I do the intrusive thoughts don’t go away, I can’t even tell anyone about them because i’m scared they’re going to think I want to think about these things.

October 9, 2022

My dad was getting mad at me for not doing my chore right. I was sick and tired of him treating me like a rat or a peasant just because hes my dad. I was tired of it. He was saying he was sick of me and my brothers attitude (i didnt have one trust me) so i just shrugged “with an attitude” in front of him so he got up in my face and pushed me back and got in my face and saying “Dont play with me you’ll never win this battle” He litteraly was touching nose to nose. Then he started to walk away and i just smiled at him which pissed him off so much so he came back and grabbed my face with my hand and jerked it. I was holding back tears at this point. He left and i broke down in tears. I never asked for him to be my dad which is why i dont think being the parent is the advantage. ☹️

October 9, 2022

I want to die. I’m thinking of starving myself little by little because of the way my mom body-shames me. I’ve tried to tell her but it doesn’t help. I can’t help but feel that the only thing she wants is the opinion of other people to know how “good” of a mother she is. She had always wanted me to have that slim build my cousin has. For the record, I have a medium build. It hurts with constant comparison and the body-shaming. I don’t want to be here anymore.

October 9, 2022

I actually have two to share. The first one is that o constantly lie to make myself more entertaining and interesting. I understand that a lot of people do this, and i no longer impulsively lie like that, but i used to take it to extreme lengths. I once spent a week researching schizophrenia and then convinced my closest friends i had it. I used to live in the ghetto, moved to the suburbs, but i didnt get into as many scary experiences as the ones I've told my friends. A few, but not nearly as many. I have a few more but i want to keep these confessions relatively short. The second one is the one that causes me to loathe myself in particular. I used to masturbate to animals, and cartoon children, and it makes me sick every time i think about it. I no longer do, as i can now resist the urge to look at.. that, but the fact that i even enjoy it is abhorrent to me. I have a dog and multiple younger siblings, and i would never think of them in that way, but imagining the look my oldest younger sibling would give me if she ever found out... I wouldn't be able to stand it. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk.

October 9, 2022

So I'm 14 and there's this guy I like named Jackson, but I love him, I love him so much and I know it's early to feel like this ig, but he's so perfect, anyway I wrote a song about him and performed it in front of 100-150 people at new years 2021 dance. I had my friend tell him that the song was written about him. And after I sang the song and got off the stage a whole bunch of people were congratulating me. Then I find my friend and she says that Jackson wanted to talk to me. So we find him and the first thing he does is give me a $20 bill and says " I want your first album" Wich made me blush a lot. But then he proceeded to reject me. He said stuff like how he has been hurt and he was too broken to like anyone, he said there was a guy out there but it's not him. This broke me and I am still hurt over it and I have been rejected many times by other guys since this happened. But the worst part is that after he said all the crap about how he couldn't like anyone because he was too broken I saw him holding hands with a girl the very same night. I am now writing a song about him and I plan so give him a USB with my album on it and give it to him before I release it. I see him all the time at church, and I should mention that neither of us are allowed to date until we are 16. I still really love him and I wonder if I should try and be his friend again? Or find someone else to like. I just wanted someone to know how I felt before I die. I hope he eventually knows how much I care about him.

October 9, 2022

When I was really young I was inappropriately touched everyday for many years. I was abused by my father at 2 months old. He abused my mom to. I did have a brother, but he died when I was 9, I lived with him while he slowly died. I've lived in 3 different states,lived in 9 houses, and yet I still have no real friends. They always talk behind my back. I also struggle with my hallucinations. My parents do t wanna help, they never believe me. I struggle in school, they don't help, all they do is yell. I get yelled at and punished for things I can't even control. It's hard to explain. I self harm, and I've tried to kms 2 times. I hate myself. I don't live with my mom or dad, I haven't seen them in so long, I forgot what they look like. When I did live with my mom when I was young, she had a smoking and drugs addiction. She self harmed. She tried to k*ll herself in front of me. She's probably in jail right now, as always. Have a good day <3

October 9, 2022

(This one isn't really a secret but I cry talking about it) so one day out of the blue on April 2nd, 2021 my dad calls me downstairs on the couch. I was thinking what I did wrong because every kid lies at least like 5 times. Then he called my sibling down and I was like oh shit what's about to go down. And I'm like what the hell did we do. Anyway we wait for my mom to get home and shes in tears and she hugs my dad and I hate it when my mom cries because then I cry. So she comes over to the couch and she said the worst sentence in my life. "C_____ passed away in her sleep this morning" I started balling my eyes out because she was like the sister I never had. It had been really hard on me these past couple of months and I kinda make jokes about her all the time because its my way of coping, does anyone have a suggestion on other ways to cope with her passing?

October 9, 2022