HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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So my aunt had moved to our house. When I was around 7 years old. One day my mom, my sister and I came home from grocery shopping before I could make it inside my mom was crying and said go outside play with your sister. We left cause we hadn’t played. It was night time so we came back. My aunt and my dad weren’t there. I had a feeling that something was wrong. We moved houses. Me and my sister would go visit my dad because he had a “new job” that’s why he wasn’t home. Months later he came back to visit us but got into an argument with my great great grandmother. She said “I never want to see you again especially after you slept with your wife’s sister “ . My little sister wasn’t there when this happened. She thinks my cousin is our cousin when in reality he is our stepbrother. He doesn’t even know. My aunt moved far and my parents are back together. I’m 23 now with two more siblings that my parents have had throughout the years. But it’s killing me that my other sister doesn’t know. And my mom gosh how can she get back with someone that slept with her sister. And to top it off I had a boyfriend and my sister has been sleeping with him behind my back. It’s like life it’s repeating itself again with me. I don’t talk to him nor her and no one knows why I left him and no one knows I have a stepbrother.

October 29, 2022

I have always been the kind of friend who always stood by people, and helped them get through everything but when I needed something I couldn't find anyone besides me even if it was for a happy reason or a sad reason, nobody stood by me. I hate the way my body looks, I hate the way I smile, maybe that is the reason why I stopped taking pictures and why I hate every other picture people take of me, you know every day people say body positivity and stuff but can you look in the mirror and like yourself, can you? I often feel like a failure, I keep waking up at 5 and 4 and 3 am every morning and I try I do and I end up getting marks, and I wonder was it all worth it? My mother said I was a strong person, my best friend said I never cry but all I ever did was cry myself to sleep every night and cry every time I look at myself because there is not a thing that I like about myself. I Have found love in the way a book ends and a poem begins but I wonder if one day I will wake up and will be able to look at myself and love everything about the way I look.

October 28, 2022

I don’t think I have ever wanted to kîll myself more than I have lately. Everything is just wrong. There are so many things wrong and they just keep hitting me over and over. I can’t seem to make myself happy. I try and I try and somehow it is not enough. I’m sick of hearing that it’ll get better or it’ll all work out someday, because it never does. I’ve tried to kîll myself five times. I’ve wanted to die since I was five. I don’t think I deserve to live. I am just a waste of space and I genuinely don’t care if I die.

October 28, 2022

Hey, so I think I was r@ped… I was talking with a friend and I had him come over to hangout at night at my place. I had to sneak him in so we had to be quiet, he knew that. So we are hanging out and all then things start to get a little intimate. He touches me everywhere with his hands and that was okay but I didn’t wanna go any further… I had all my clothes off cuz he was touching me and I was showing myself off, because I felt pretty. But when we were laying down he took his pants off and said he wanted to have seggs. I said I wasn’t really ready for that and shrugged it off. He said “but I came all the way here to be with you” “what a waste of a condom” I just responded with I’m sorry, and he said “I think you’re ready” and with him still being on top of me and scared he’d make noise and/or hurt me I didn’t say anything as he put his in me. It didn’t hurt much but I was so scared and idk if I’m able to consider it r@pe because I never said no, but I also never said yes… I didn’t want him to do it. I later told my new current bf and he got sad about it and wants to him, but I’m scared of seeing that guy again, and I’m in a happy and healthy relationship now which is great but idk if I was right, that I was r@ped…. Cuz I never said no.

October 28, 2022

My mom was a addict but I still loved her because when she was sober she was the best mom but when she wasn’t she was the worst. At some point child services took my sister and I away. (I raised my sister basically because my mom wouldn’t be sober enough to raise her) I had to be separated from my sister at some point and it completely killed me and felt like the end of the world. My mom promised she would stop and take us back. Eventually my sister and I ended up in the same foster home. My lawyer called and said I won’t be going home. I asked her why. She said my mom didn’t pass one drug test and isn’t appearing to court. I got mad. I called my mom and started yelling at her and begged her to pass the drug tests so we can go home. She wasn’t sober and went off at me too. We got into a argument and I told her she’s the worst mom ever. After that she stopped picking up the phone. I thought that she was mad. A few days later I found out she overdosed and that she died. I regret getting mad at her all I wanted to do was go home.

October 28, 2022

I am a addict, I’ve been a addict/alcoholic since I was 13. I’m 35 now and have continuously battled many addictions, waves of substituting one thing for the next just to curve withdrawals, lying to my family and friends that I am alright, even though they all know I am not, but mostly feeling like they just given up on me, like I have myself so many times. Depression holes and abusing even the drugs that are supposed to balance out the imbalances. I hope one day, I won’t want or need any of it anymore but the truth is I’m more scared of being completely sober because mentally I’m not well either. I just wish I was okay, and this part of my journey would be over with.

October 28, 2022

I got a new job, and became friends with everyone there. But one coworker i worked with before they left didnt respect my no. I said it over 20 times and made me do something i wish never happened to me, they physically held me in place so i couldnt run and. They would text me everyday asking if anyone said anything because there was a camera in the room and they knew and got freaked out that someone would say something, after that day a week went by and they quit never came back.

October 28, 2022

when i was around 10/11 i got groomed and sa’d constantly by my stepbrother. my mom caught him one time and questioned me about it and i didn’t tell her anything bc i thought it was normal. he was 19/20. i didn’t really notice anything was wrong until i woke up with his yk what in between my legs. he was going back and forth but didn’t necessarily go inside. i was too scared to move. it made me so mad bc my mom was right. how could i let this happen? after that i started distancing myself from him. but it kept happening. every night. he even made me kiss him goodnight on the lips. when i refused he’d get aggressive. i’ve always been scared of him. i got really depressed and suicidal. i started sh. my parents found out and questioned me. i couldn’t tell them. but they forced me to talk just for them to say it’s all my fault and i should’ve spoke up when my mom asked me. they ended up not believing me after speaking with him…. they call me a liar now… they constantly use it against me as an excuse to not be able to do things. “you’re gonna get raped again” “no one’s gonna believe you” i also refused to go to the police because he no longer lived with us and i was scared. i regret it everyday….

October 27, 2022

When I was (7 female) my step cousin (who was about 16 female) would lock me in her room. And make me play "princess and prince" in these games she would make me do very horrible things. Like french kiss her and even touch my privates and make me touch hers. I didn't know any better. And this went on for about 2 years. Intell the marriage making us family ended in a divorce. I am now hyper sexual. I'm so angry at myself . I know it's not my fault, but I wish I wasn't this way now. I try really hard. But when i'm sad or mad that's what I turn to.

October 27, 2022

when i was 11 years old i met a 16 year old who i wanted to be friends with. me and him got really close and i think 8 months later i started dating him he was 17 and i had just turned 12. he was only weird when i met him first but it got worse after we started dating because he would send me things like porn, inappropriate comments about something i was wearing, and he would also send me videos of real people getting killed. i didnt know what to do. it took me two fucking years to block him. he was a terrible person start to finish especially when i blocked him he bought my number online and called and texted me over 347 times. after that we got the police involved and it was okay mind you sorry this was all online. anyway it was okay for 6 months i was now the age i am 14 and he texted me again from a new account i of course blocked him. but still he haunts me every fucking day i cant go a day without thinking about it he ruined my life. i now always feel guilty like i overreacted and i shouldnt have blocked him because maybe just maybe it was okay i was just paranoid. im so full of guilt now i cant sleep. i dont know what to do anymore im so scared and ashamed i dont know what to do.

October 27, 2022