HSR Stories

Joined

July 30, 2023
Active listings

1,760
Direct message

I always come to school with a smile on my face so that my friends can be happy but in reality I’m not happy at all. I just found out that I’m moving and I don’t know how to tell them. Every morning I wake up and look and the mirror and try to tell myself I’m pretty but I just can’t there are so many girls at my school that are prettier than me and my friends too. I have this weird fear of being alone this past Valentine’s Day just reminded me of how unwanted I am. I finally had the courage to like someone and then he turned around and found a girlfriend. I’m so broken I don’t know what to do I keep telling myself you are enough someone will want you someday, you are pretty but that voice in the back of my head always make me feel worthless. I don’t know what to do anymore it’s like I’m breathing and living but I’m not living I’m just numb. I haven’t cried in months and I’m stuck and don’t know what to do.

November 7, 2022

My parents got divorced when I was four. My dad wasn't exactly the greatest man and he wouldn't see a therapist so my mom divorced him. After that I would see my dad every Wednesday and every other weekend. Growing up my dad had a lot of girlfriends and stuff but when I was in second grade he finally settled down and remarried. I didn't like my step mom or step sister at the time. They would say a lot of mean stuff also I'm pretty sure the step mom was only there for my dad's money but I kept quiet about it since I knew how lonely my dad was. I remembered the moment when he dropped me and my sisters off at my mom's and he cried in the car because he didn't want to go back to an empty house. So I kept quiet. In fifth grade though it was getting a bit too much for me. My step mom wouldn't let my dad do anything not even have lunch with his own daughters without her or her daughter being there. So me and my sisters went and saw him at his work. Thinking hey maybe we can ask him to have lunch with us and we can talk it out. That didn't happen though. So we told him about everything but he ignored us. In the end he picked her and her daughter over his own biological children. It was a huge fight though my dad said some mean stuff and just ugh all of that. I was too busy crying. After that it was hard to face him. So me and my sisters stopped visiting my dad anymore. I secretly wanted to visit but I didn't wanna go and my sisters see me as a betrayer. So I didn't visit. After a couple weeks of not visiting he called my school. When the teacher told me that it was my dad and to go down to the office to answer it. I was freaking out and I told the teacher "my mom doesn't want me talking to my dad" and my teacher understood and told the office that. 7th grade, I still haven't visited not once and I get news that my dad is in the hospital so I go. He was in a coma. After a week and multiple times of being brought back there comes a time where it's really bad that me and my sisters had to make a choice to have him have surgery with a very low chance or surviving or to unplug him. Oldest sister said to unplug him, middle sister said surgery, then me the youngest was left with the tough decision and I ended up deciding to unplug him. I just didn't want him to die on a surgery table in a room of strangers. I'd rather let him go in a room full of family. I'm not sure if I made the right decision though. My step mom really started showing her true colors after his death though. I found out that my dad tried visiting me and my sisters but my dad was going blind so he couldn't drive and my step mom wouldn't take him. I just wonder what if I had picked up that phone in 5th grade? Would things be different? Is this because of me? It's one of my biggest regrets, not picking up that phone. I just wanna hear his voice one more time without screaming preferably.Yes, he wasn't the best dad but I still love him.

November 7, 2022

TW: SH i’m like 90% sure i’m trans and like idk how to deal with it bc i can’t tell my parents. they aren’t exactly homophobic but like ??? they make weird comments and i heard them making fun of my pride flags once and idk. i think i’m trans (ftm) but like there’s nothing i can do it abt it and like idk if i just really hate my body bc i’m insecure or if it’s bc of dysphoria? i’ve also been like cutting myself and like only 1 person knows i think and i’ve been wanting to kms for like idk at least two months but i keep putting it off and the cutting isn’t even helping bc i’m scared to press too hard and yeah i’m sorry if this was too much

November 7, 2022

When I was 4, my oldest brother molested me. A few years later when I was 6-8 every now and then my other brother would sexually assault me. I don’t really remember much of my childhood from that time due to that trauma and also the trauma of some abuse by my father. After years(age 12-14) I struggled with depression. No one really understood me when I told them I don’t remember my childhood other than some of the traumatic events. My family was always annoyed with me and that I could only remember a few things. Healing is especially hard because now memories do appear every now and then. I remember that while on a vacation my second brother got drunk and was keeping me in a room and talking s*xually to me and it was pretty scary. I still can’t remember most of my childhood even while still being a child. I still can’t look at my downstairs bathroom, hide and seek, the woods, and older boys in the same way anymore.

November 6, 2022

Okay. So I am a junior in highschool and there is this guy who’s a senior. We work together in the summer but actually started becoming friends in like september probably because we’re always together on the weekends with a group of people. Me and him started getting really close, and we started texting. This led to us texting all the time and stuff. Now, he has feelings and I kinda jus ignored them. But I think I have feelings too but i feel like i can’t. He is literally perfect he’s first in his class, extremely nice, everything about him is just perfect, and he gets me. I feel like he wouldn’t get anything about me if we would date though. Me and my family are literal goobers we laugh we joke we just have a good time. Which this is all a good thing, but what if he jus doesn’t get anything. i guess this is how it could be with any guy though ughhh idk. I feel like i just worry so much about oh what happens when we hangout, how is it gonna be, what are we gonna do, what if this happens, what if that happens ahhhh. i worry so muchhh. HOW DO I COMMIT TO A GUY??? i feel like i can’t. But i kinda want him, and we’ll be together this weekend too so like yay. But there’s not a chance i’ll ever be able to admit I have feelings. But once he saw that i was like idk ab him he stopped texting as much, and that’s when it hit me that i love talking to him and i don’t wanna lose what we have. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOOO.

November 6, 2022

I really badly want to die. I don’t understand but I think the world would be better off without me. Everyday at school I get bullied or my head messes with me. I used to be a girl a lot of people liked because I was “normal”.. but I changed. I changed because a lot happened when I was younger and I couldn’t bare to look at myself In the mirror because I would see everything that happened. So I changed but now I hate that I changed and get constant reminders about it everyday. I have tried to die before, many times. And I still want to.. I hate it

November 6, 2022

TW- p*dophillia and cp! Once when I was 13 someone added me on snapchat and sent me cp. I didn't do anything about it I didn't tell anyone and that's my biggest regret. I can't live with myself because of it.

November 5, 2022

I’m in love with my best friend. He’s so sweet to me, funny, he’s had my back since we were kids. I would do anything for him. I’m engaged to a decent guy (I’m a guy too) but my best friend has my heart. He’s straight but I feel he’s at least bi because we’ve had special intimate moments that I’ll never forget but I’ve never told a soul. He knows I’m in love with him and still treats me so amazingly. I feel like he has feelings for me but is so scared of getting ridiculed by others. I love my mate but I really feel like I’d leave them for my best friend if he ever confirmed his feelings for me. I wouldn’t want to hurt him but my best friend has stolen my heart. Does this make me a terrible person?

November 5, 2022

When i talk to people abt my me nd my bf they get rlly frustrated so i wanna say it here. I've been with my bf since i was 13 i am now 16 :) there are many cute y/n moments i experienced with him and only him. There was a time when his bus came early so he had to leave and i had to wait on my bus and well i got sad bc i was gonna be alone and i don't have any friends besides him so it was upsetting. But i heard someone waa running and give me a big hug behind me u didn't know who it was bc like yk i have no friends when i turned around it was him and he started kissing me he told me the bus driver let him get off to give me more kisses and it was honestly the best i thanked the bus driver and he hopped bck on. There is many more but i loved this one :)

November 5, 2022

I came out of boxing practice last week and a woman parked her car in front of the parking lot and drove off. My father was very angry because we could not go out. When the woman came, they started to fight. My father walked up to her and raised his hand to her. I swear he was going to hit her because I saw his face, his anger. He once threw something to my mother. A lot of people gathered and a man started fighting with my father. He told my father that he couldn't raise a hand to a woman, and my father got even more angry. Finally a guy separated them and my father got in the car. Then a woman knocked on my window, I opened it. And she told me I can't be a shit because of my dad. I have never been so ashamed in my life. I was so upset that I was going to vomit. I couldn't understand how my father could do such a thing. since then I can't look at him and talk to him. I'm so embarrassed that I go to sleep thinking about it every night.

November 4, 2022