HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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No one knows this in my real life but I used to plan in detail my step brothers death. He sexually abused me for a year, my mother didn't believe me and it became a huge fight about me looking for attention and making something small into a big deal. I would hurt myself, and I wanted to die to prove everyone wrong, but I wanted him to go down with me. Sometimes I'd plan to stab him, or steal the gun from my step dad's bedside drawer. I would get really close to doing it but I never did, and I finally got out of the headspace I was in. I no longer want to kill myself and I have a supportive family now through my dad's side. But I still sometimes wish my step brother would just die. Some days I feel guilty for this thought and some days I think its perfectly normal to want your abuser dead. I don't know anymore. Not talking about it isn't helping me though, I think

December 4, 2022

My parents got divorced about halfway through high school and one day senior year, my mom asked me if I wanted her and my dad to get back together because my dad, who initated the divorce one sidedly wanted to come back. My father was always the strict one and the one at home so since he had been gone I was essentially allowed to do whatever I wanted. Because of this I said “idk he’s the one that left” and it has eaten me alive since. 6 years later and my mom has a new boyfriend and I never see my dad anymore. In the last two years ive seen him 3 times total. Because I had no supervision my grades tanked and I became such a loser. If only I had said that I wanted my dad back, maybe now I would actually be somewhere in life and happy

December 4, 2022

When I was 15 me and my dads relationship was going down hill. He chose women and money over a lot of things and it eventually caught up with him. Got into some debt, 5 marriages he all cheated on them with, and I started seeing it all when I grew up. But I still loved him, he was still my dad. But I finally started growing tired of his ways and just wished I was somewhere else other than around him. We always went to Waffle House though together. One night we went and he asked to go see a movie with him like when I was little. I had no interest and just wanted to go home to be on my phone. He was persistent and I finally said no in a way I should’ve gotten in trouble for I was so disrespectful. We went back home, I didn’t say anything to him, and the next morning me and my sister (who didn’t live with us) found him dead from suicide in his bed. If only I had went to watch that movie with him, I would’ve had a few more hours. We found out a few weeks later he planned it for a while so there was no stopping it. But fuck, I miss my dad…. I just wanted those last few hours back with him and tell him I love him. Tell him he was all I had then, since my mom passed when I was 5. How much he meant to me…. He passed away knowing I was angry at him for a while and I wasn’t happy around him anymore. But I still loved him. I can’t say that enough.

December 4, 2022

The summer after my senior of high school, I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend.. multiple times. Him & I totally had a thing while they were dating.. Her and I kind of had a fall out after we graduated. I was going out of state for college and just didn’t care in the moment. To be honest in middle school & high school we were “best friends” because we had the same best friends. When I look back at it, we had that kind of rival friendship. It feels like such an ugly secret because it was so out of my character, but I know I would never have the guts to apologize.. come to find out I wasn’t the only one her boyfriend was sleeping with.. I’ve tried to justify it after all these years to somehow make it ok.. im married with kids now and graduated high school 13 years ago and it still makes me feel guilty til this day..

December 4, 2022

me think about this all the time and it haunts me. maybe I'm fucking psycho or fucked up but when I was about 9 or 8, I have a little brother and at the time he was about 3 years younger. it only happened one time. i bribed him into kissing me and idk what was wrong with me. I told him that I just wanted to "try it". I hate myself for this. I hope he never remembers so he doesnt have to suffer. now I would never even consider doing that to someone. I didnt know what I was doing then but I hate myself so much for it.

December 4, 2022

I would use to write "I love you" to my online friends for no reason because at that time I wanted them to know that I truly did care for them because in those small moments i wanted to tell them, I wanted to tell them everything of why I was glad they came to my life. They were my only source of happiness although they never knew any of that but yet they still are my happiness even if we talk a little everday I just sometimes wish I wasnt such a bitch sometimes to them. But Im just glad they were with me in my last few days :)

December 4, 2022

in 2018, it was the first week of summer break and i stayed with my cousins. i was 15 at the time and so was my cousin who im about to talk about. it was my family of four cousins 1 girl, three boys S, K, G, J. Cousin S was doing math work in the living room with her mom and i went into K and G room cause i was bored. i got into K bed cause G was playing games and listening to music with his friends online and i just watched youtube videos with K. I fell asleep and at the time i thought it was a dream but it wasn’t. my own cousin K had his d*ck in my mouth. i managed to pinch myself to see if it was actually happening. i felt so disgusted, i was so scared to say anything and i knew if i screamed or something my aunt would have hurt me and so i made it seem like i was still asleep but i turned away but he tried to turn me around and was rubbing on my downstairs. but i just acted like i woke up and hurried out. i went into the bathroom and cried. i felt so nasty and ashamed. the next day i ended up in the hospital for having a severe anxiety attack that caused me to stop breathing. i broke down to my mom when she asked me “what’s wrong baby” even i had the intentions of keeping it a secret. the hospital was planning to send me to a mental hospital due to self harm scars and past unalive attempts. mom made me tell the social worker, then police got involved. the officer who spoke to me in the hospital believed me i was thankful for him i felt safe. i had to go to an interview at the police station but was not believed and was told that they felt sorry for my cousin and that i was crazy and needed serious help. my family believed me until my aunt called making up lies and threatened to sue me and after that my family stopped believing me and told me it was my fault that the family is breaking up. i hate myself for it. i constantly feel like it’s my fault and i regret going to the room. i’m 17 now and it still haunts me to this day. should have i kept quiet?

December 4, 2022

I had s3x with my sister. My sister and I came from a messed up situation. We got new parents that took better care of us then the old ones did. I was a bought 6 years old and my sister was 8. I don’t know how we knew that the two parts fit together like that, but some how we figured it out. Once we did it the first time we started doing it a lot more. Neither one of us were able to climax so there was no real point of it. Every time we did it we knew that we needed to hide and our parents never thought anything of it. We eventually stopped for awhile. A couple years later when we were older we almost did it again. We got pretty close and it’s a good thing we didn’t because my sister fleet much would have gotten pregnant that time. We never talked about it ever again. I feel horrible that we did it and appalled that we even knew how to.

December 4, 2022

A little secret of mines is the day my dog died I ate some of his peanut butter with him before i left for school. No ones eaten from his peanut butter when he started taking his medicine but the last time he did i ate some with him so he wasnt alone on it. I miss the little devil

December 3, 2022

I don’t know what do to it’s really really irritating, the only things I enjoy is sleeping and listening to music, I like working out too it’s fun ig, it’s something to do. I used to be really interested as a younger kid, I was in to everything bruh I was so motivated to do things, and then I’m middle school everything got boring, I don’t do drugs or anything and I still keep up my grades cause it’s easy, I still workout, and I started reading I like it. But everything just seems so boring, the only time I really enjoy something is like labor cause then I can j go on autopilot and get stuff done. I wanna be rich bc I want money I wanna br able to take care of my family and those who could use the hand, and so I’m gonna continue going to school and getting a PHD I wanna do a lot of things and I’m going to do them all, but none of it is really interesting, it j seems like I do it cause I have no other choice, and it’s whatever idc, but I don’t want it to always be like that, idk how to make things interesting or how to make myself interested in things. Is there something I should change or like I could do? Idk why I’m asking I probably sound stupid rn fuck

December 3, 2022