HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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This isn’t a secret. It’s just something that I really need to get off my chest because its rough. I had a MASSIVE crush on my girl bsf. She was beautiful, had the prettiest smile and eyes, and she was the sweetest person ever. Or so I thought. I eventually gathered the confidence to ask her to be my Valentine. She said yes and I absolutely lost my shit. I was so excited. Then we started talking a lot and she showed interest in me. The day I was going to ask her out, she had gotten back with her ex. Turned out she was just pretending to have interest in me. And as an overthinker, I fucking hated myself for it. And thats just something that happened to me recently. And it hurt.

December 11, 2022

my brother is schizophrenic and i can’t help but think how much i can’t stand him. he tried raping me when i was 7 and he was 13 and my parents always excuse him even thought this was before his illness was present. i hate it so much. i can’t hate him because then i’m the bad guy but he has caused me so much unhealable pain. my parents recently screamed at me telling me to get over it because i was crying alone in my room and they walked in. i hate it here. i just want to get out.

December 11, 2022

I just hope I die I hate everything about myself, my body, my ugly face and how skinny I am I’ve been wanting to commit but it’s not really worth it but I still wanna be gone I’ve been feeling so insecure lately I’m just unperfect I just wish I was those pretty girls on tiktok and how I’m 14 and really flat chested I really hate it too and how some ppl same me for being skinny but yea

December 11, 2022

When i was around 4-7 (i cant remember), my cousin (who's around 6 years older than me) took me to the bathroom in private and licked my genitals, claiming it was for "medical reasons". He was like an older brother to me at that age and I dont know how to feel about it. I haven't thought about it at all for a while until i really started thinking about it a year ago. Im at the point where im hoping it wasnt real and some weird dream because of how little i remember. I don't think badly of him for it, he was kid, he was curious, and he probably regrets it a lot. I have a feeling it was why he stopped hanging out with me as a kid too. Ive never told anyone because I don't want anything bad to happen to him, because he doesn't deserve it. I just don't know how to feel about it. It's weird and its not like it was a traumatizing experience. it was... just a thing that happened. I really just hope i either forget it at some point or convince myself it wasn't real

December 11, 2022

I am always constantly jealous of my younger siblings. My parents raised them and act so differently around them then they did with me. I’ll see them buy my siblings presents and tell them that they are “proud of them” and that they “love them,” but I never got that. I was forced to mature really quickly and had to take care of myself. Heck, I don’t even remember a time where they told me they loved me or even hugged me. Because of all of this, I don’t really know what it means to love someone or to be loved and I don’t ever really know if I’m actually happy or just faking it. I feel bad because I’m never exactly sure how to act around friends and what to do when it comes to romantic stuff. My friends will say “I love you” and other words of affirmation, but sometimes I don’t know how to return it because I never learned how. Other times I will because I’m afraid I’ll lose them if I don’t or that I’m not giving enough and undeserving of the kindness they’re giving me.

December 10, 2022

Something that no one knows about me. And something that i wont even accept myself is that im not happy. I think that my mental health is getting better and that im actually doing better but in reality the reason that ive lost motivation in everything that i do is because i dont want to be alive anymore. I have no dreams or passion. Im a senior in highschool and i dont even want to go to college anymore because i dont have the motivation for it. Im not okay. Im not happy. And saying it right now, even though no one is probably gonna read this, hurts. I just wish that i could either be dead or that i can finally have my life back

December 10, 2022

In middle school I went to a sleepover with two other girls. The three of us had kinda been sleeping around with each other and exploring sexuality and whatever it was, in retrospect, kinda sucky and gross and mentally unhealthy. But anyways there always weird flirting going on and at this sleepover I decided to make an advancement on one of the girls. We had clothes on still and it was like ten seconds long because the energy felt weird and I backed off. For the rest of the sleepover things were weird and the girl I didn’t touch (imma call her B and the original girl A) kept getting overly aggressive. Later that day girl B explained to me I had molested girl A and, of course, felt absolutely horrible. At school B yelled at me and it went to counselors and parents and I always had really bad trauma around it. This year girl A was talking with me as we never really stopped being friends (I did with girl B because she was really toxic and mean for other reasons and to other people. And ofc this stuff happened, although a year later she pretended like nothing was wrong). Girl A explained that she was never upset with me or what happened and it was girl B making the situation unwanted. When girl B asked A how she felt, A was too nervous to fully explain it and B ran with it. It was immensely relieving to know that I didn’t truly molest anyone (although that situation could’ve been handled a million times better and clear consent is super important). I still don’t know how to feel about the situation or myself. Everyday I worry about repeating mistakes and hurting my boyfriend.

December 10, 2022

im 14 years old, turning 15 in march. ive had a pretty tough childhood. my cousin sexually assulted me at a veryyy young age and i thought it was okay and normal because i was so young. my mum was on drugs and abused me and my 3 older siblings. that went on from the age of 3 to grade 4 when my dad finally took us from her. i thought i was going to be happy but my dad is an alcoholic and verbally abusive. he always calls me useless and lazy when im just trying to live another day. ive developed a lot of insecurities with myself like my looks, weight, foot size even and i really want to die. ive self harmed from the age of 12 to 14. i was self harm free for 5 months but the recent sunday, 13th of feb i relapsed. it was really hard but this year i had really fallen down hill. i always tell my sister how ive felt, besides the self harm part and she told my dad then he came in my room and spoke to me about it and said he was going to take me to a doctor but its been 4 months and nothings happened. 3 years ago my brother saw my cuts and told my dad but he never brought it up with me. it makes me feel like he doesnt care. no one cares. could i be any more obvious on how i feel? im always in a bad mood but everyone just assumes im on my period or say im just a bitch. my brothers used to tell me to kms when i was in primary school and i almost did. they both treat me like absolute shit. always ganging up on me in arguments, always calling me dumb or making fun of my looks. they even used to abuse me. im so young, why do i feel like this? maybe i deserve it. people have it worse right? i have nothing to be sad about.

December 10, 2022

Back in elementary school I liked this girl for a long time,we were the best of friends and we talked all the time but I didn’t know if she felt the same,so a couple of months later she told me she was moving away.I was extremely sad and I didn’t get to tell her how I felt before she left, fast forward a couple of years later (after highschool) I decided to go find her,I was searching for a couple of weeks and I decided to give up. A couple of days later I found out she died from cancer 3 days before I gave up. I regret everything:(

December 10, 2022

I left my dads house because i hate his girlfriend and i was with my ex at the time and i had no where to go and he told me i could stay with his friend and my (ex boyfriend) said he would come check on me everyday he lived up to that long story short i did a bunch of reckless things because i had no adult supervision, i was driving reckless because i didn’t care about anything, but i while i was staying with his friend i slept in his room and he slept in the living room and im guessing he came into his room and go into the bed where i was sleeping and he proceeded to rape me he was 15 and i’m 18 i live with that guilt because i was already raped the same way at 14 , i never told my ex because i was afraid he wouldn’t believe me and i was afraid the 15 year old would go to the cops and flip the story on me i guess i will forever live with that guilt i can’t stop thinking about it and there is no one that i trust in this world to personally tell because there is nothing to do about it because his dna is already got because i’d still do the do with my ex and i just have that stuck in my head and i’m completely lost on what to do , all i ask is don’t give me hate this took me a lot to say this.

December 10, 2022