HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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My mom is so abusive. She’s not physically abusive since I turned 6 or 7, but I often wish that she was because her words hurt so much worse than being hit with a cord. She ruined me as a child, my education, gave me an eating disorder, and made me feel worthless. Shes an extreme hoarder and it gets pushed onto me. She’s broken my dad beyond repair and it’s so sad because he’s my lifeline. He stays with her even though he makes the money and he makes so much of it, he could feasibly leave with us and be ok. I don’t understand, but I don’t blame him. He’s been so messed up. I’m so worried she’ll do the same to my younger brother. He’s only 7 but he’s asked me so many times “why does mommy yell at me so much?” I just want to leave. I want to move out. She’s ruined my relationship with all my siblings and friends. She’s so manipulative and mentally I’ll but refuses to see it. But she acts so normal with her friends. I don’t understand. All of her friends leave eventually though. They see her true self and book it. It’s ugly when she shows who she is. She’s ruined me. She’s ruined my entire family. I fucking hate you, mom. I hate you so much. You’ve done nothing to ever help anyone if it doesn’t benefit you. You’re going to fucking understand one day. I’m going to cut you out of y life and you’re not even going to see you grandchildrens faces. FUCK. YOU.

January 20, 2023

I really really like this kid with all my heart and I have loved him since 3rd grade but so many girls like him even the gay ones and he said he liked me back over thanksgiving break but he doesn’t respond to any of my texts anymore and I just rly LOVE HIM SM. (Ik this isn’t as serious as some of the other ones I just rly needed to let that out).

January 19, 2023

I regret a lot of things I’ve done in the past but the biggest thing I regret is how I lost my virginity. I was 13 and thought I was “the shit”. I had a crush on this dude and at the time he was 17 (soon turning 18). At the time I thought it was so cool being with an older lad however when I got older I realised how fucked up it was. I wish I wasn’t so desperate as at the time I was going through the beginning of my depression. He also had a fiancé and he cheated on her with me. What makes it worst I was so screwed up in the head at the time that him cheating on his fiancé with me made me feel “hot”. This dude now has another fiancé and a child. A part of me wishes I had the courage to tell someone about this. He took my innocence at an age I was meant to be innocent but I was probably asking for it. Thank you for reading.

January 19, 2023

I wonder if anyone would care if I did leave. My friends have abandoned me, I can’t handle my depression anymore. My anxiety and PTSD has taken over my life. I can’t sleep, it’s always filled with nightmares and reminders of /him/. The person who caused my trauma, he’s free in a few months. What if he comes for me? What if he wants to finish what he started? I’m so scared, would it be selfish if I just offer myself out of fear of having to deal with him if he returns?

January 19, 2023

I said I was sa and I lied I’m a horrible person and I know that I am so ashamed the police got involved and the guilt was so strong I never told anyone until now I guess I just wanted attention.. that doesn’t mean what I did was ok I just wish I had the guts to say I lied about it all.. maybe the day will happen someday soon.. I’m sure nobody will forgive me but whatever..

January 19, 2023

So when I was 6 I stayed at our moms friends house when she was away because she was deployed but that was also my brother's best friend at the time. My brother and his friend would sleep in the same room and I didn't like the girls they were mean but his friend was always nice to me, so I wanted to sleep in there room so they agreed he had the bed where you could pull another one out so I slept on the bottom one and they slept on the top one we fell asleep watching SpongeBob right and at the time the boy was 9 and my brother was 8 but I was asleep and I woke up to someone lifting the bottom of my pants up and rubbing my calf and then slowly going up further up I tried to say why are you touching me I'm trying to sleep but he covered my mouth and said be quiet and I won't tell and I'll let you swim tomorrow in the pool. I loved swimming in the pool and I was already scared because he was touching me and I couldn't move he kept doing it but before he could go further my brother woke up and he acted like he woke up and said to my brother why did you push me down there and I laid there closing my eyes because I was scared he would do it again and then I told his mom but he said I let him do it but she brushed it off and said he was playing around and for me not to worry

January 19, 2023

In my group of 6 friends, I'm the councilor/therapist of the group. When I moved to another school in 11th grade and the only way for me to communicate with my friends was through phone calls or text mrssages. Sometimes I do get tired of hearing other people problems and having to give advice but I love them and care for them so I would always say yes when they ask me if I can talk. There is a specific friend, fake name Jay, that I was worried about and he was going through something mental. He told me that he was gay and didn't want to tell his parents until he graduates. Then one day, I was tired and sleepy and when i would get home from school, Ill be going to bed. I did but I got a phone call from Jay, I ignored it and put my phone on silence and went to bed. His parents found out about him and were very disappointed and shamed him for the past 3 weeks and then our friend group disowned him and I was the only one left and I ignored him. This happened before he called me. He committed suicide by crashing his cad. He didn't survive when arriving to the hospital. The last time he texted was me when I fell asleep. He was telling about how his day was and what he was going to do and how he was going to run away and asking if he could live with me. He confised to me about his feeling but I never answered. I loved him and my tired body didn't want to deal with him. I don't know what to do now.

January 19, 2023

oldest in my friend group. my birthday is only a few weeks after cut off date for me to be a junior so the third month of my sophomore year i had my license. i work 5-7 hour shifts almost every day. and work doubles most weekends. so most of the time i leave school go to work then afterward we hang out. it’s been a routine since i got my job. it’s only been five months. and every day i can feel myself getting more and more emotionally drained. everyone else seems so happy and i would never want to ruin that. so when i would work till 10 or 11 at night. i would take a couple addys. i’m always so tired. drained. and really don’t want to do anything. i’ve maintained a 4.0. but my biggest fear is relapsing. cause it has to start somewhere. and i feel like addys is the beginning of it this time.

January 19, 2023

I was gr00med, r@ped , drugg3d and abu$ed my whole life, I’ve never had a relationship with my mother or father. I’ve never had a family, which made all my relationships end in disaster because I tend to fall for the broken ones who I want to heal, and I heal them and then they leave me broken and they go off prepared and ready for life because I helped them get there. I’ve just wanted to be loved by one. ONE single person for me and only me. Why’s that so so hard… I put my all into it and it’s never ever enough, I’ve dealt with and eating disorder my whole life along with anxiety and depression and who knows what else I haven’t been able to go and get proper care and see what else is going on in my brain, my point is I have done eveything for everyone who’s come into my life through thick and thin I’ve bent over backwards and lied for and defended the most HORRIBLE people because I thought they loved me.. these days no one wants love they want to hurt hurt hurt and hurt and I’m sad to say I might be pregnant and I’m honestly so so so scared because I don’t want to bring my kid into the world like this, this isn’t how I want my kid growing up. I hope one day to find someone who can love me and hopefully this little bundle of joy I might be carrying.

January 18, 2023

My biggest regret that I struggle with everyday is never telling my older brother how much pain me puts me through. How he left me when I needed him the most and that shit hurt. He left because he got a problem with our dad. See our dad wasn’t the best growing up for me and brother, he did a lot of things that still scar us today. And I though since there’s a 10 year age gap between us that as I got older we’d get closer but we never did. Even after him and my dad had traumatized me, picked on me, and did other things too, I still loved him and wanted him to come back. But now I could care less about him. Because I had to learn how to grow up fast since I became the oldest child after one brother died and he left. And now Because of him I’m a way better sibling to my younger siblings then her ever was to me, I stayed even through my dad still being an ass most of the time. I protect them and look out for them since he never did for me. And he always pulls the same crap we’re he’ll pop in every couple years just to say hi and then leave again, not having any contact or anything until he decides to start his process over again. And I hate myself more though for still loving him and wanting him to come back and care about my siblings and I, and to meet our younger siblings which he has yet to do. But until he does not only am I stuck being the screw up first born daughter, but I’m also stuck being a parent to not only my younger siblings but also to my dad. I just wish I could tell him all this. But he’d never stay long enough for me to even do that.

January 18, 2023