I had a boyfriend who I loved so much. He was my first love. In the beginning, he treated me like I was a pearl.
He broke up with me in the fall of 2017 after months of ignoring me and I saw him again in the next year. Then, he started treating me well again and we went on dating.
Two weeks after we got back together, he started flirting with other people and treating me like I was disgusting. He yelled at me. He called me names. I loved him so much I thought he was just upset. He was bipolar and blamed all his feelings on me - to the point where he tried to k1ll himself and blamed it on me, on new years eve. He told his friends I was a terrible person, so they wouldn't talk to me. Everyone ignored me for a year and a half because of him, and I still loved him. Anything I accomplished was bad for him, because it wasn't him that won. I fell into depression and started discounting this on others - the same way he did with me.
My worst regret was not ending things when he started cheating on me. He did that 4 times, and still said I was the one cheating on him. I never did such a thing. I regret not ending things when he called me disgusting for wanting to kiss him. When he yelled at me in a restaurant in front of my friends. I still think about him to this day, regretting ever falling in love with him. I don't think I'll ever not regret meeting him. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him. People say you have to forgive people but I don't think I will be able to forgive him, ever.
Kind of a part 2 to my first story just want to share a couple events that happened with me and the girl, I'll call her JP, One night I had a huge sleepover with JP, her bf (we'll call him E) and a couple of others friends, (like 6 other people) it was late at night and all of them were smoking weed. I really don't smoke or drink, but they kept pressuring me to do it. I've always mostly hung out with girls but everyone wanted me to go hang with the dudes. So we went to a bridge outside and I eventually gave in and smoked with E, and 2 other guys. We were out there for close to an hour and when we came back, I went upstairs to lay down cause I felt weird (I was probably High ) JP came up and I heard everyone else outside being loud, but JP came and laid next to me I could tell she was also high cause she smelled like it and was acting differently. She laid next to me and looked directly into my eyes. our eye contact was intense and she told me she was staring so hard because my pupils changed in size. Then she told me that she was mad at E because he was acting different, and trying to be impressive because he kept flirting with the other girls there. So she had an idea and she told me she text a bunch of people to bring her alcohol and drinks like that, and told me she wanted me to sneak out with her and go to the bridge and drink, I noticed we slowly started leaning into eachother and I can't tell if there was sexual tension like we were about to kiss or something but I pulled away anyways because she had a bf so... I ended up not going to the bridge with her because I really don't know what was going to happen and we ended up falling asleep anyway
