HSR Stories

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July 30, 2023
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My grandma passed away last year and i wasnt there for her final moments. This is one thing i will always regret. I keep thinking its my fault too because she died of covid and the same month my grandma passed my mom had my little sibling and i found out she had covid but what i found out next is that covid can be in your system for a couple months which is what happened to my mom since she didnt have any symptoms atm or anything but at the end of November i remember her being sick, my little sister, grandma, uncle and her husband and i went over there and i didnt feel sick or anything but thats when i thought what if i was a symptomatic because i found out blood type o can be symptomatic or have a higher resistance but at the beginning of December my grandma from my dads side got sick and i visited her a day or 2 before she got sick. It took me 2 months after her death that it was my fault and i couldnt even be there with her in her last moments. To this day i still feel like its my fault and no matter what people say it wont change the fact its all my fault. If i was to tell my family or dad i bet they would all hate me and despise me.

January 24, 2023

When I was 16 my mom put me in driving school to lower the insurance cost for when I got my license. The first few lessons with my instructor went well. Then we had a night-time driving lesson. It was around 8 at night and while I was driving home he told me to make a turn that wasn't the route to my house. I said that and he said to just do it bc he wanted to show me something. I did, and we got to a darkened area of the neighborhood near a stop sign. He told me to put the car in park, so I did. Once the car was parked he grabbed my neck and forcefully kissed me. I froze and tensed up. He then took off my seat belt and started touching my stomach and breasts. I was completely frozen. He moved down to my private area and started rubbing there through my jeans. I then jerked back and he tightened his grip on my throat. He finally pulled away from the kiss and said I felt so wet. This made my stomach drop. He grabbed my hand and put it on his private area and kept it there for a few moments. Once again, I had froze. All I could think about was this 30 something year old man who was 3x my size could beat the hell out of me if i tried to fight or run. He stopped after that, and I shakily drove back home. I cried for hours. I felt physically sick for weeks. I hate myself for freezing up and not trying to get out of it. Everyday I blame myself for what happened. I didn't and still haven't told anyone bc by the time I was ready to tell someone, I had no evidence of what happened. I was too late

January 24, 2023

About 2 weeks ago I was home alone with my step dad. My mom and siblings were out getting groceries. I didn't want to go so I decided to stay home. My step dad was always mean and abusive to all of us. Mentally and physically. I always just tolerated it. I became very depressed and I'll because of him. He would always find new ways to punish me. But this one was the worst. Just minutes after my mom left he came upstairs and he did things to me that I never thought he would. Still to this day it hurts so bad and I have self harmed myself thinking it was my fault. And I honestly don't think I will recover from it.

January 23, 2023

i have this best friend and we’ve been close friends for the past two or so years. but anyways whenever we would talk id noticed that she would always talk behind her other friends back. i never thought anything of it until a couple months ago i got this job and this girl that worked there was really close friends with my best friend so she though i was her friend. she started off talking to me a lot about things i didn’t want to talk to her about. then she started touching me in places i didn’t wanna be touched at all. so i quit my job and reported her because i wasn’t comfortable there. my “best friend” would talk about it with me and tell me how much she doesn’t like that girl. but one day i say her in the window of her classroom sitting with the girl and laughing as if they were besties. then the other day at lunch i saw her sitting by her at lunch instead of sitting with me! what should i do about my friend?

January 23, 2023

i’m in the most confusing relationship I have ever been in. I don’t know if that is thee person he is or something else is happening. he can be so warm but so cold at the same time and honestly i am always questioning if he actually loves me as much as he say he does. i feel as if i will never fully knew the truth of how he feels. what hurts is that i know my feelings for him are greater than i have ever had with anyone in this world… but the more i love him … the more it hurts … and yet i would not seek attention from anyone else … all i want is him … and idk if all he wants is me…. i just want to be loved …

January 23, 2023

I don’t regret my life decisions I came very far and grew a lot as a person on my own and especially in the past year but I had my biggest heart break and I don’t regret walking away from it but I miss the feelings it gave me and the hope and it was the rush that kept me going at the time, he was in boot camp and I sent out letters all the time and waiting for his and for the mail everyday was what kept me going knowing one day I’ll get a letter soon or a 5 minute call on a Sunday. And it’s been a year and a half since it ended but he still has a big piece of my heart. We ended on good terms and talk very very rarely but now that we’re both in the military it’s hard and we have our own lives. I believe in right person wrong time but I also believe that if it’s meant to happen it’ll come around again and not to keep forcing it. It just sucks when he crosses my mind because I go back to how it was before it got bad.

January 23, 2023

When I was little I was being abused by my father. My mother and him divorced when I was born and I went to his on some weekends. (He often didn’t come to pick me up) when I was there a lot happened to me that it makes me so fucking sad. My family is very complicated and from a very young age I was pushed into the only child of a single mother role of taking care of everyone around me but myself. I recently got back in contact with my father after 10 yrs (we stopped communicating when I was 6). And he still won’t own up to what he did or anything that happened. I have told my story to mum and she even after everything that he had done to her doesn’t believe me. Any way my deepest darkest secret won’t make sense but here it is. My deepest secret is that when I was little I would keep a tally of every time someone truly took care of me. And now at the age of 16 the tally is only two. I repeat that number daily and I constantly wonder why no one ever thought about that little girl that just needed some help. The only other thought I think is suicide. Which I know is from deep dark suppressed trauma. But when I die I know it will be alone and cold because two isn’t a high number.

January 23, 2023

I regret my last words to my friend being "Thank you". There was this one really late night I was on call with my friend Ethan. (I'm using his name because it's pretty common) We were having fun talking over FaceTime. Randomly he hung up, which he never does. I immediately went to text him to see what was happening. He replied saying that he was sorry he hung up and wanted to "Test a theory". I asked him what the theory was and he said "Why do we always have 3 lives in video games?". I was confused by what he said and eventually I got the hint. I tried calling him but he wouldn't answer. He would only text me. I tried persuading him not to do it but he didn't change his mind. It was so late at night I wasn't thinking straight. I texted him "Can you think about it?". He replied with "sure". I thanked him.. I went to his funeral about a week later and when no one was looking I slipped a note into his pocket. It was a little note confessing my love to him. I was going to give it to him the day after we FaceTimed but that didn't work out.

January 22, 2023

My best friends treat me like shit, and the whole story behind it is messed up. I had one best friend that I met in 7th when she was in 8th, after almost a year and a half of being friends, I got a girlfriend that was being homeschooled and my best friend in highschool. I had no choice but to introduce them so we could all hang out together and that messed everything up. Even after the girl broke up with me we still all stayed friends. But they started leaving me out and saying “ I’m unincluding myself.” I was going through hard times with losing a friend to suicide so I would tend to break down a lot. And when I did they would just yell at me saying I do it so much, it ruins there night. They make me get in videos with them saying “they don’t want their friends to think I’m being left out” and they point out a lot of my insecurities, and have ruined a lot of my dream careers from there words.they even hang out alone sometimes. My ex and my best friend. It’s been about 7 months later and I’m still fucking with them. If I drop them I lost all of my friends so I have no choice but to “stay there best friends.” Sucks bc I love them both so much and I really do wanna be friends with them.

January 22, 2023

When I was in 1st grade my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. She was in and out of hospital and rehab centers for 3 years. When I was about 8-9 I was tired of having to go to NYC everyday bc that’s where the hospital was… so I stayed home sometimes. She died when I was in 4th grade. I regret not going to see her every time I had the chance to. It’s been a little over 5 years since she passed and I still regret it.

January 22, 2023