HSR Stories

{English isn't my first language, pls no judge} I am a male, almost 16 and I have a problem. It started when I entered middle school. At that time, I was overweight, could even be called extremely fat. I didn't have any problem with my weight, and felt pretty normal. Until puberty I guess. At middle school, most kids want to be a part of the kings and the queens realm (popular kids). You get fame, friends, love and network. So being one of them might be the dream of a lot. However to get that fame and to get these friends, you have to do some 'despicable' things. Ready for everything to satisfy their (the royals) hunger. Being a fat introvert black guy, I was the perfect prey in their eyes. Even though I've always minded my own damn business. Sometimes I'd be walking in the hallway, going to my next class, and suddenly hear someone shouting my name out loud and saying that I got more boobs than some girl. Then I see almost all the student in the hallway laughing while looking at me, while some others look at me with pity. Saying that I didn't feel bad would be a lie but that also didn't mean that I'd let them do everything they want to do with me. So with my fat, I had an advantage in a fight and would always puck on them, calling them 'pussy' if they didn't dare to fight. I never really fought at school because of that. Unfortunately, I underestimated psychological torture. Every day they would insult me, when I had a presentation, they would always look at me weirdly, joking about me and because of that. I lost confidence. I didn't dare to look at people, I always let people enter the door first, never eat at school, always sit at the back of the classroom, avoid eye contact with the royals and public spaces. This continued for more than 1/5 year. As a youth in puberty, I also had my first crush. She was an extremely beautiful queen and unlike the others she was kindhearted. She even told the kings to stop bothering me. She was the sole angel in my heart. At first it was only her looks but then her personality only made me fall in love for her. Every once in a while, our gazes would cross, and she would gently smile at me and I would turn my head in a hurry in ful bashfulness. Know that I think about it, I was really foolish. So like this, days became weeks and weeks became months. It was an ordinary day, I was chilling with my friends, talking about everything. I was happy, because it was the last day before the winter holidays. I remember my friend talking m, explaining us something that he found when he was playing at Fortnite. We were so immersed in the conversation that when he suddenly stopped talking, we all looked at him and asked him what was wrong, but he did not respond, instead he looked at me with a weird gaze. Following his gaze, all my homies looked at me too, and they had a flabbergasted expression. But by reflex,I looked back and what I saw is still in my mind. I saw the angel, my crush, the most beautiful girl just behind me. And even though my expression was indifferent, my heart was racing like it never did, I could almost hear it but I could feel it clearly. I asked her what she wanted while trying to keep my cool. She looked at me straight in the eyes, and told me that it'd better to go somewhere else first. I accepted and we went there quickly. She then started to breathe in and out and then asked me to go out with her. I wasn't dumb and knew that this wasn't normal, no matter what, I knew my place and knew that she was beyond my reach, so that's why I only dream about her from far, far away. But yet, hearing it from here mouth with that cite voice, I couldn't help but stutter "what d-did you just say?". She repeated what she said but this time I could see a faint blush on her face, even though it was my first time seeing someone blush as a black guy. Still not losing my mind, I asked her why so suddenly. But before she could even start speaking, I heard a laughter. It wasn't just one but more. I then saw flashes and some girls on their phone. I then understood that this was a set-up. I heard the girls asking if I believed it. I didn't respond, but a king approached and said that I was really a fool to believe her as he started laughing. Their laughter attracted a little attention. I didn't bother responding to them and only looked at my 'ex'-angel who had a look of sorrow, as if it was saying: Sorry, I had to do it, I really didn't want to do it. But I just insulted her, calling her bitch and saying that I never thought that she was the same as those sluts. And finished with, I would never judge a book by its cover ever again, as I walked away. I then heard some sobbing soud but didn't turn as I believed it was merely an act. But some people thought it was real and hell restarted for me from then on. I was getting mad, every day, I was called fat shit by the kings and disdained by the queens and the fools (suckers) pointed at me evry time they saw me. At that period of time, I learned something. Nature lost against nurture. Depression, is one of the few things that happend after that. I also stopped eating and only drank water for 15 days every month. I lost weight, a bit too much but it was alright. Time passed in a flash. It was already my last year in middle school. I had no friends anymore, the kings and the queens and fools were still alive and kicking And since I lost my weight, there was nothing they could do to me. Hower that wasn't the same thing for other students. So the problem started in that period of time. I went to school like every day, and went directly in my classroom (with covid-19 we had fixed classrooms) and sat down at the back and waited for the teacher. Classes after classes there were still 3 hours before school ended. It was lunch time and being an ex fat guy, I didn't eat and was not hungry. So i went on the rooftop of the school with the other students. I sat on a chair and started to judge the world in my head. Yeah,I became a pessimist. Whie thinking I my 'ex'-angel. Over time, she became more beautiful and her body started developing. However I couldn't care less about her since what happend that day. She went to sit down next to her sister queens and started talking. About 40 minutes later, we all heard the school bell, but only 80% went back in the classroom while the others skipped. I skipped too because I didn't like the teacher. Well after some time, I had to go take a piss and that's what I did. After washingy hands, I walked out of the toilets. And guess who I saw ? It was her, that very same angel. She saw me too but I didn't continue looking at her and went straight for the rooftops. But she actually said "hey" in awkward tone. I turned back and asked what she wanted. She said that she was sorry for what happend. I told her that she shouldn't apologise to me because nothing will change. She was a bitch and even if she apologised, it wouldn't change that fact. She started to grow frustrated as she told me why I don't want to make things up. I laughed and just walked away. But she continued to pester me and started following me, trying to grab me. I told her to let go of my hand, be a good dog d stay there. She grew mad from hearing that but I directly opened the doors of the rooftop and went to sit down on my chair. There was nl one anymore and I liked that. But that Queen still came back to the rooftoop. I could see.the anger on her face as she came to me d told to apologise. That it is offensive. Told her to fuck off, but she grew madder. She started yelling at me, telling me that she tried to apologise but I didn't accept it and that what happend was not even her fault, she said that she was forced. I looked at her d told her that she got no excuses for what she had done. What is done is done and there is no way to change that. Then I got up from mychair d told her that if she doesn't leave, then I would. I could see her hands shaking. I was happy, seeing her so mad made me feel so good. A smile was on my face as I tried to not laugh. She screamed and said that I shouldn't be so disrespectful. I didn't bother responding her anymore and went somewhere else. I heard quick footsteps coming from behind me, I turned around and saw her running towards me with a red face. She was mad. She slapped me. At first I didn't understand what was happening but she actually continued. I could have slapped her back but I didn't do it. What I did was the problem that I'm talking about. She wanted to slap me another time but I grabbed her hands and made sure that she could not move. She started screaming, telling to let her go, but I wouldn't do that. Since her hands were grabbed, I tackled her as she fell on the ground. I did that softly, I wasn't a monster. I was on top of her, while she was struggling, screaming, telling me to le go of her. I let go of her hands but I was still on top. She started to pinch me. I told her to stop but she didn't. I then wanted to do something, something bad, like really really bad. That's I moved a hand of mine under her sweater. To be more precise, it was under her bra. I started play with her while she was screaming, telling me to stop. But I loved that feeling so I didn't. I then moved my other hand under her pants a.d played too. I was quite happy. She started to struggle but she was powerless. She begged me to stop and started crying but I continued. After some time I decided to completely turn and take of her pants. After taking off her pants she begged me to stop and told me that she would do whatever I want. I smiled and at the same time started to take my pants off too. I raped her. She wasn't a virgin though. It was a pity. After the deed, I took some pictures of her and threatened her. 1 word 1 pic. 2 words, 2 pics. Her hands were on her face, sobbing madly. I helped her to put on her pants, gave her some tissue and went home even though school wasn't done. When I went home, I felt guilty so much that I couldn't sleep the whole night. I had decided to apologise for what I've done even if I had to kneel. The next day she wasn't there and the next too. I started to become a bit scared. Fortunately she came back 1 week later. She wasn't looking really good, it was if she didn't sleep the past few days. I went to her when there was no one around her and told her to come with me to the rooftoop. And I apologised. She started crying telling me that what I did was horrible and that she couldn't sleep the past few days. And she told me that I took her virginity. I no longer felt guilty, I felt bad. I thought that raping her could have solved my 'hatred' for her but I only felt sorrow in the end. I told her that if she needs anything, that I'm here. She nodded and went back to the class. The next few weeks I helped her for everything I could when there was no one around. I thought that everything started to get better. But no, I think she became mad. Every 3 days she would ask me to go to the rooftoop with her. And she wants me to do the same thing I did to her when I raped her. At first I didn't accept but since she asked, I said ok. But things started to change, sometimes she would occasionally tell me to call her bitch or slut. Sending me nudes and sit next to me in class and touch my P. It's now been 1 year and we ended up in the same class, in the same High school. She is crazy and I'm tired. Now we do it multiple times in a day and I can't take it anymore. Don't even know how she didn't get pregnant. Please help

• February 13, 2023