My dad has been abusive to me my entire life, ever since I was born.. physically.. mentally.. verbally.. emotionally.. and sexually.... I would call cops begging for them but my dad would find me and tell the cops I was just a little kid being dramatic..... he cracked my skull open that day and told my mom to leave me on the floor to die... and she listened... because she doesn't even want me either because I was the mistake child.... CPS is a joke and they don't help... my dad tried to kill me time and time again but never succeeded.... I just regret never getting out of that house as soon as I could to stop the abuse.... but for 19 years.... now making me afraid of any physical contact with anyone and being cold hearted to protect myself from things.... I regret not leaving as fast as possible...

In my 20 years of life, I never even thought that where I am is where I would've bren when growing up. I used to be an extrovert, made friends every where I went, then when I was 10 I met someone. She was different from all the rest, she stood out from everyone. We had a beautiful friendship with each other then I found out she was Transgender (MtF), but that didnt stop us from being friends. When she moved here, everyone bullied her for being different and no matter how hard I tried to defend her, it kept going on. It got so bad that one day she killed herself by overdosing... She left a letter for me and her parents...I regret that I never talked about it to someone, I kept those emotions locked away and it changed me. I became closed off and depressed for many years w/ 3 suicide attempts. Now I live the life of an introvert, I don't talk to anyone, hang out with anyone. All the dating I did never lasted more than a few days. DON'T HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS. DON'T LET THE STRUGGLE OF SOMETHING DESTROY WHO YOU ARE. YOU CAN RISE THROUGH IT.

• July 7, 2023