It eats me up inside i was with someone who was not only abusive, but a fücking pedøphilé. I almost said yes to being with someone who got into child corn, but once i found out, i said i was done. The trauma from being with my ex, has me worried that something bad will always happen, that where is happiness, sadness will follow closely. Im in a really good and healthy relationship now. But it kills me that some days i worry that something bad will happen but my partner reassures me that im okay, and that they will not leave. I feel guilty for worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, but also mad that i can’t let go and just be happy, one day at a time, im not there anymore.

I have many regrets in life, but this one is the cherry on top. As I've said in the previous forms I've submitted I come from a broken and disheveled household. Since my upbringing I've become deeply depressed. As I get older my will to live weakens, and the only reason I've made it this far in life is because I have a little brother seven years younger than me. His name is Mark and he's the most precious thing in this world. I love him to death and I would protect him with my life. At first I thought "As long as he lives and breathes so will I" I was confident in that decision and yet here I am hoping the next morning I don't wake up. Every regret in my life catches up to me. At times I'm afraid I'll really do it. Though because I'm afraid at that thought I have hope I'll gain the courage to live on and see him grow into an outstanding gentleman (or lady the choice is all his). Now for the main part of this message I want to say that my biggest regret is letting my surroundings define who I am, because now I'm a mess. To everyone who reads this I want to say to you to not let your mistakes or the people around you mold you into a terrible person. You are not your mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc. You can be better than them and I truly believe that. I fear it is a bit to late for me now but it's not for you. Lastly. As I write this my fingers tremble as I'm afraid to submit this but I know there's someone out there who's exactly like me. I hope my message gives strength to those who need it. Thank you for reading. English is not my first language and I need more work on my punctuation but If you post this I would love tips on how I can improve and how you received my message. Thank you again.

• July 31, 2023