Listening to my family and never listening to my own heart. I am the only child, since I was young I’ve had such high expectations placed on me that failure wasn’t an option, neither was deciding anything for myself. Now I am about to graduate college with nothing to show for myself, but rather the degrees and life plans of my family. I wish I listened to that screaming child inside begging to be heard. Now it’s too late and I have no idea what to do other than following the plan my family mapped out for me. Don’t live your life for anyone but yourself, because other people being happy doesn’t matter if you’re miserable and hate the life you’re living…i’ve truly lost myself in the process.

I regret caring at all about anything and only realizing now that life is so meaningless. We are born we spend our youth full of school and stress for the future. Then we spend years working full time jobs to earn money so we can live and enjoy things, then we die. We shouldn’t have to spend half our life working for money, we should spend it enjoying our lives. I don’t know how humans got to this point but it’s just really depressing. Human lives just keep getting more depressing and on top of that we have to ruin everything around us. I just don’t know what to go anymore because as much as I want to start caring about things it just seems meaningless. Also knowing there’s so much more in the Universe but realizing we won’t ever know about it or ever know how we really got here. I’m also scared that I’m the only one who views life this way or that maybe I’m looking to deep into everything.

• June 25, 2023