I wanted to kill myself before I never had the power to do it I was so messed up in life from being raped I just wanted to end my life I try taking pills to hurt myself

my mom won’t let me go see my grandpa that’s really ill. he lives in a different country and i understand that the plane ticket is expensive but we are high middle class and not financially struggling. i thought she would be understanding and let me go visit him but all she does is call me selfish and that the world doesn’t revolve around me. the next time i might see him is when he passes away. whenever i facetime my grandpa he says that he’s perfectly fine which is good but i just wanna see him face to face. he is everything to me and he’s the only one that showered me with love and affection growing up. i have been struggling with depression for almost 4 years and i really don’t know if i’m gonna survive in this world without him. he’s been there for me at my lowest and want to be able to spend time with him before he passes away.

• June 22, 2023