I’ve tried trust me I can’t do it I can never do anything at all I may have the ability to help but I can’t I don’t think telling people things when they’ve been doing something different and it leaves me standing there as the blame if anything goes wrong I’ve never worked up the courage to even tell anybody what I actually think,I always want them to be happier than me instead of being like me drowning in my own sorrows of failure.what have I ever done to help besides stay in the background where no one can see me,taking no offers of help myself dying and desperately needing help but won’t ask for it reading and writing paragraphs to stories only trying to get away from the pain that aches in my body.a crushed soul always being left behind,no one ever stays everyone always leave in the end,not everyone has it good.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023