I started hurting myself again, after I had promised my friends I would stop. When they ask how I’ve been doing I always lie and say I haven’t hurt myself in over a year and have been getting better at eatin. They only want to help, but I can’t handle the shame of having to admit I haven’t been honest with them after they have always been honest with me. So every time I see them I just ignore the pain in my shoulders and legs and pretend to be ok. They are good people that are very understanding, it is simply guilt that keeps my lips sealed.

A couple months ago my mom sold our house to my dad and moved so I ended up staying with him and his girlfriend. I had a dog at the time and a month after my dad moved in i had to give him away to one of my sister's friends which broke my heart i cried alot for my dog and 2 months after she called me crying that he had passed away due to not being cared for I completely lost it my dog was a special needs dog who needed extra care and attention but she didn't listen to me when I told her that. I'm so heart broken on top of dealing with the loss of my fur baby I was also dealing with my dad and his girlfriend who doesn't like me until I had enough and decided to move out on my last day at my old house my dad suggested that I leave my dogs ashes here which I went off on him and told him that's never happening my dog goes where I go because he believes having them is bringing people with bad vibes into my life and bad things happen to me because of the dogs ashes the only people in my life with bad vibes is him and his girlfriend who have caused me so much stress I was treated really bad by both of them especially her but he doesn't want to put the blame on himself or her so ofcourse he would think of blaming my dog who had passed away and that I had to give away because of him

• July 12, 2023