I’ve thought about un al1ving myself a lot. I let someone who I thought was a friend in. We had a brother/sister type friendship. I opened up to her like I have with no one else in this world. I literally told her about my attempts to do it and things in high school I would never dream of of. We were truly best friends or so I thought. She called me crying one night because her and her bf had a major fight. I comforted her. Then She ghosted me for over a week. Me being an over thinker immediately thought I did something wrong. She finally answered and told me she didn’t have service. I knew she was lying. She finally came clean and told me her mom had convinced her that I was in love with her and she listened to her. She cut me out of her life after that. She wouldn’t listen to me when I told her I thought of her like my sister. That was single-handedly the worst 6 months of my life. I tried 3 times to take my life but was too scared to go through. I’ve never told anyone about this.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023