When I was 15 my moms health started to decline severely. I wasn't stupid so I knew she was gonna die. The previous year she was diagnosed with a brain disease I always thought she was gonna beat it but then again I had the thought that she wouldn't. Scared to lose her I started to push my self away by spending less time with her and going out with friends instead. When I came home from school and find out she passed it hurt way worse that I could've thought. I just wish I could go back and spend every minute with her. I miss her so much and I still don't know what to do without her anymore.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023