When I was 7, an older family member was arrested for abusing my sibling. My family member, my sibling, and myself were all in the bed together when he was caught in the act abusing my sibling. That night so many police came. We went to the hospital to have a rape kit administered, it was found out we were both drugged by him, and he went to jail. Luckily, we never had to see him again. We have been in therapy our whole lives for the abuse but my parents didn’t know if it happened to me as well. Now that I’m an adult, I told my therapist and mom I do remember my family member abusing me. That’s a lie. I can’t remember that family member touching me. In reality, I actually remember my sibling and I doing things around the time our family member was abusing my sibling. It would happen at our shared bedroom at home, by ourselves. Why can’t I remember what happened with the family member? It might be the drugs he gave us or my mind repressing it or it never happened to me. I have never told anyone about my sibling and myself. And I never will. I know my sibling clearly remembers our older family member abusing them but I don’t know if my sibling remembers it happening between us. I have decided to never bring it up and I will never ask my sibling if they remember what happened exclusively between us. Its too painful and confusing and all around f*cked up. They are my best friend and whatever happened between us, it wasn’t either of our faults. We were mirroring what we were shown. We were both abused in our own way and not many people go through that together.