I’d been going down a bad path for while, my meds weren’t working, I thought it was me, that I jus couldn’t be happy. I’d lost most of my friends through rumors about the stuff I did. One of my kinda bitchy but close friend had jus had a rly bad breakup. Me and her ex always randomly had convos once in a while, but got started getting rly close because he was always there if I wanted to talk. I didn’t have any feelings for him, but he told me he did for me one night, and made i i t very clear that I could never do anything sexual with him because of my friend who was his ex at the time. I also didn’t want to. I got drunk one Friday after school. I told him about it and he came and picked me up because he said he was scared I was gonna try to drive or do something else crazy. He started to say things that made me feel very uncomfortable like “I’m so hard” or “I’m so horny rn” and it stated to really freak me out. I was also scared that if I went home I would get caught. I didn’t know what to do. He drove us to a parking lot and asked if I wanted to get in the backseat. I didn’t. But he kept asking me to. I was drunk, so I thought it would be funny to throw myself in the backseat. He followed. He never stopped saying uncomfortable things. “I wanna come” or “ u wanna make out rn” or “can you help me” I didn’t want to. But he kept asking. I thought he was going to take me home if I didn’t do anything. And I honestly was barley thinking. It was the first time I was drunk, I was more scared. But I kissed him anyway. I didn’t let him take my clothes off but that doesn’t mean he didn’t use me or touch me. I never wanted him to. When I was sober, I thought it was all my fault, my brother convinced me that I might’ve been sexually assaulted. I haven’t told my parents, but the whole school knows. Some don’t believe me, some do. My friend believes her ex, told me that he would never do anything like that. I’m being constantly bullied by her. She posts on her private abt how bad of a person I am. It makes me seriously doubt myself. If I really know what happened, or if I just made it all up.