I'm a bad kid, being me ik all my family's passwords nobody can hide anything from me without me finding out in due time. I always get in trouble and do stuff to make my mom mad so for some reason I went through my mom's phone through her texts all her listed passwords and I came across a note in her phone it was locked I typed in the password I used to get into her phone and it opened that's how I found out my mom was depressed and planned to.. in a few months my heart dropped at reading this I had been such an awful kid and I was the reason. Then something in me changed and I just couldn't be a bad daughter anymore I wanted to but there was always an invisible force holding me back. I started showing more love and support and on the date that was read on her phone she took me to a bridge over water pulled to the side of the road and told me to get out I panicked because I knew what she was gonna do but instead she came clean to me and we talked and I told her that I already knew about it. As bad of a daughter I was I love and always will love my mom and I couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023