I feel so stupid and helpless in the love category. I know this is lame and every other story on this is serious so I’m totally cool if you don’t think it’s good enough to post! Basically some background, I’ve dated this person in the past while I was a sophomore in high school (long distance and had to hide from my parents). After a year of dating, I got so bored and honestly pretended but they had a horrible mental health and always talked about how they weren’t worthy of me and they’d be depressed without me. So I felt like I couldn’t break up with them but I yearned for feeling single, like I was wasting my life with this one person. So I started “cheating” which was flirting with other people. Until I decided to break up with them out of the blue after months of pretending to enjoy their company and then ghost them after. I know it’s horrible of me to do it, I can’t say I regret it. Now, over a year later… I think I like this guy. But I’m not sure if I’m saying this just because I feel like I should or not. And I think there’s a chance he’s into me too. He constantly walks with me, we whisper to each other during class, plus some meaningful conversations. There’s more but maybe I’m overlooking this and being too hopeful? I get so flustered when we both lean down on our desks and just stare at one another for like a good amount of time. But he could just see me as a friend. I’m scared that if I do like him or if I date him, what if I get bored again? What if I hate not being single? What if I mess up? Maybe I’m just convincing myself I like him. It feels real but I feel like I’ll mess it up.