when i was 8 or 9 i was gr0omed and then m0lested/r4ped by my sister. she then introduced me to p0rn, and i’ve been addicted ever since. from 10-14 i lived online, never making any real friends. now i’m 17 and so incredibly alone. i also feel like i might be gay, or at the very least bi, but my family is super conservative, not to mention i kind of believe that being gay is a sin. i’ve tried to “pray the gay away” but it hasn’t worked and now i don’t know what to do. i’m about to graduate soon, and i’m scared that i don’t know what i’m doing.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023