Okay, so this isn’t really a secret or regret but I really want people to see this. If your reading this I need you to know one thing. You. Are. Enough. You are YOU. Not someone else. You don’t have to pretend to be someone your not or change the way you act and dress to please others and fit in. Because you know what? WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK?! YOU are YOU. You are ENOUGH. You don’t need to be perfect, because you are beautiful just the way you are. And if someone says other wise they are blind to you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are. I promise.

i want to die. it’s crazy this is the first time I’ve actually written that because I’m scared of the truth. I always thought mentally I was okay. I thought I could do it or I could just forget I’m sad. I know, it sounds stupid but genuinely I want to be happy. I want to stop thinking I’ll kill myself. I want to stop trying to find excuses why I should stay alive. Recently the excuse of my mom hasn’t been helping. And now I’m scared one day I’ll be done.it started after my cousin touched me when I was 6. i remember it like it was yesterday. I removed the feelings I had while he touched me. I remember the fear I felt and how I wanted to run. I remember all the people in the room watching it happen and not helping. I also remember me not saying anything for weeks because I was afraid my family would yell at me. And then it happened when I was 9, 11 and 14. I remember everything and I’ve never told a soul what happened. I mean ofc people know but not how many times or who did it. I refuse to be labeled as a victim. Because those who are, are just the victims. Not the survivors and not the ones who made a change. I can’t go to my friends because they never really have time for me. I’ll make time for them always idc I worked three full time jobs at once and always made time. But I understand sometimes it might be harder for others. It’s okay.

• June 25, 2023