i regret not kissing her when i had the chance. for awhile, she was everything to me. i dreamt of her, i dreamt of being with her. and now she's happy with someone else and i feel so alone because of it. i want her to be happy, but i still love her at the end of the day. i just wish there was a way i could go back in time and change how i reacted to her.

i’m tired. i used to be a straight A student all through middle school. i was a good kid. never argued, had lots of friends, was likable, nice, i loved my life. i’m now a freshman in high school, so i’m not that old. i’m scared to eat, i can’t trust anyone, i’m failing 4 classes, i don’t come out of my room, just lost my best friend, my ex who i still love despises every inch of me. it’s taking a toll on my mental health and i’m just tired of being here. tired of pretending i’m happy just so other people don’t worry about me. i don’t know what to do, how to react. my anxiety is over the roof, to where i can’t even get out of bed. i got diagnosed with being bipolar, which is hard. i just don’t know what to do. i’m trying but i’m so tired. i’m running out of options.

• August 2, 2023