When my exgirlfriend dumped me and started holding me in like a fish on a hook. I stayed and she just pretty much used me before I had to block her. I've thought about killing myself. And I've thought about it recently and still haven't gotten help I just don't live at home anymore that's the only thing they have done. I blocked her on everything and I don't know how to stop thinking of her at certain times. Whenever its silent that's what I think about. I am slowly losing self esteem to do school work. And lacking in class. I play video games to get on with it but I think it would be helpful for someone to talk to me about it.

Me and my cousin and my brother were playing and all of a sudden my cousin tells my brother to look away, he then tells me to sit on the couch, we were upstairs in his hosue, his mom was doensirars in the kitchen. He told me to let me see doen there, I think I was about 9 or 10 or 11. And I said no a lot of times, I kept making excuses like “thats disgusting and yoyr mom will see us”, this retard actually said it’s ok take a photo on my iPad. Like bro what. Chile then I was like no man just stop leave me alone and leave it alone. Somehow after 10 minutes he convinced me(threatened me by saying he’ll tell his mom I showed it) and I was like fine, he’s ugly he don’t get no girls, lemme show some pity. Then he looked at it, and then it was awkward so I told my brother let’s go(keep in mind his head never looked back so he didn’t know) and then we went home and I was like, fuck no, even if it isn’t that serious, my mom would kill me, so I went to his house the next day, and we’re were playing in his garage, and he told me my bike’s brake doesn’t work(apparently he forgot all about touching and shit), so I was lik “o ok do I have to carry you or, he’s like bruh y you being so mean, at least one guy has interest in you,. And all I could think of was revenge, the day ended up in him in the hospital with a broken leg and broken arm:)

• July 2, 2023