When I was little like 7 my friends would talk behind my back but I wouldn’t notice they would do things like pour water in me or food. They would always call me fat or chunky. They told me cutting my wrist would make me skinny so I did. One day my teacher saw the marks. I told her the story but she thought I was lying so I got in trouble. My friends acted kind around the teacher most of the time. I transferred schools but I still think of how bad friends they were.

This isn’t necessarily a deep dark secret in anyway, but it’s one I have to get off my chest. I have been burdened with it for 4 years now. I’ve known my bestfriend since I was born, and we always told eachother everything. We’re still bestfriends, we just don’t talk as much as we used to. I’ve liked him for a while but I never said anything because I didn’t think things would work out, and then I’d just end up losing my bestfriend. He told me a few months ago he started seeing this girl- who is now his girlfriend. Ever since he told me, it’s like I can barely look at him. I love him so much and he doesn’t even know, it makes my heart sink. How could I love someone so much and them not even know?

• July 22, 2023